10 Things That Make Children of the 80s Feel Really Old

by Howie Decker @HowardTheDeck on August 26, 2012

in Lists, The 80s

Today, Jonathan Ke Quan turns 41.


Why do we care? Because he played Short Round in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Short Round is 41 years old today. Let that sink in.

Every day my body reminds me that I am rapidly aging, but every once in a while pop culture chips in with something like this that makes us Children of the 80s feel that much older.

As the years zoom by like K.I.T.T. in Pursuit Mode, let’s take a look at 10 other things that remind us of just how old we are:


10. If Maggie Simpson aged, she’d be 25 years old now.

The Simpsons debuted as an animated short on The Tracy Ullman Show in 1987. At the time, Maggie Simpson was 1. If she had aged with the show over the course of its 500+ episodes, she would now be 25 years old. (Homer & Marge would be in their 50s, and Bart & Lisa in their 30s)


9. They haven’t made these in 20 years. 

We’re talking about the actual JELL-O Pudding Pops, not that Popsicle brand abomination that resurfaced in 2004. The original “frozen pudding on a stick” vanished sometime in the early 1990s.


8. Harrison Ford is 70.

If you listen to our podcast, you’ll recall we mentioned Harrison Ford turning 70 last month. Han Solo and Indiana Jones will never age in our minds, but knowing that the man who portrayed them was in his prime 30+ years ago is quite harrowing.


7. If the classic love story of Lloyd Christmas and Mary Swanson inspired you to make a baby, that baby would now be 18.

If lovelorn Lloyd’s classic lines like these got you in the mood for romance, that love-child born of Dumb & Dumber lust would now be 18 years old.


6. Next week is the 26th anniversary of the debut of the Silverhawks.

The Silverhawks television show debuted on September 8, 1986. Why pick such a random cartoon for this list instead of flagship properties like G.I. Joe, Transformers or Masters of the Universe? Because Silverhawks was the space-equivalent of a series created even earlier. If you’re old enough to remember and appreciate the Silverhawks, then you’re certainly fond of their predecessor, the Thundercats, which premiered in 1985.


5. This is Oliver from The Brady Bunch:


4. Bridget Fonda is almost 50 and retired 10 years ago.

We remember the fresh-faced and youthful beauty Bridget Fonda from movies such as Doc Hollywood and Single White Female. Doesn’t seem that long ago, right? She ended up making over 30 movies, but retired in 2003. Read more here.


3. The Game Boy is 1 year older than Kristen Stewart.

The Nintendo Game Boy was released in North America in August 1989. To us old school console gamers, the hand held gaming thing still feels somewhat new. Even the PSP doesn’t seem like it could be almost 9 years old already.

Some fans of Twilight feel like they’ve been watching Kristen Stewart their whole life. We’ve been playing hand held Tetris since before she was born.


2. Compact Discs came out 3 decades ago.

My guess is that 85% of the people reading this can remember the first CD they bought. The progression from cassette tapes to CDs was magical, and everyone who was anyone bought a Discman to replace their Walkman. It doesn’t seem like it was 30 years ago that we had to borrow our dad’s pocket knife to cut our new CD out of that 18-inch plastic straight jacket so we could listen to it on the ride home from the store.


1. People born AFTER Forrest Gump premiered can vote this year.

Forrest Gump hit theaters in July of 1994. Anyone born after that is now 18 years old. Remember how grown up you felt at 18? How old do you feel now?



Brian Morin August 20, 2012 at 1:49 am

Damn, I am old. Looks like I need to start looking into getting a Hoveround and stock up on some Depends.

Jaina August 20, 2012 at 5:59 am

Well damn. Thanks for cheering me up on this Monday morning! 😉

James August 20, 2012 at 9:21 am

Wow. Great list.

Classick Material August 20, 2012 at 9:24 am

Holy shit, we’re old!

BG August 20, 2012 at 9:33 am

Technically wouldn’t Maggie be 26, if she was a year old when “Tracey Ullman” premiered? Either way, damn. For some reason, the “Forrest Gump” one blows my mind. 😛

One other one, most college undergrads are now all 90s babies (freshmen born in 1994, seniors in 1991).

More0_0Than August 20, 2012 at 9:43 am

Yikes! all signs point to me being old, but thankfully I’m a Toys R Us kid so even if I do grow old I’ll never grow up!

ShezCrafti August 20, 2012 at 9:46 am

I’ve tried making my own Pudding Pops, but it’s just not the same. Silverhawks Shmilverschmawks–who remembers TigerSharks?? And all I can say about Robbie Rist is thank goodness for voice acting. He may have ruined The Brady Bunch but he made the TMNT more awesome, so for that I thank him.

Jason aka SockofFleagulls August 20, 2012 at 11:44 am

Even though he’s 41, I bet Quan would still tell you today to refer to Harrison Ford as “Dr. Jones.” Wonder if he still wears a trenchcoat full of random hidden gadgets like in the Goonies.

Lamar the Revenger August 20, 2012 at 12:32 pm

ugh…. I should go on Medicare…

Count Marzo August 20, 2012 at 3:42 pm

AHHHH, dont wanna be old.

This article has a lot of shock value! lol

Howie Decker August 24, 2012 at 3:00 pm

When I saw that Short Round was turning 41, I knew I had to post something about it – it ended up evolving into a whole list, and yes – lots of shocks in there – shocking that 30+ years have FLOWN by when most of the time it has felt like it was dragging…

Fogs August 20, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I hate you.

And shut up.

Howie Decker August 24, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Best Comment Ever.

Paul G. August 20, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Bridget Fonda was SO hot!

80s Guy August 22, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Good grief time certainly does fly lol.

Howie Decker August 24, 2012 at 2:55 pm

right? Insane. Makes me cringe.

Mazin Zimakowski August 23, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Well… i’d say that CDs and Harrison Ford are hardest to me.
I always have this stupid feeling looking at Fords’ recent pics like if it wasn’t 30 years after Raiders, but like if he suddenly got cursed by a witch!
I guess that the biggest curse of Indiana Jones’ and most of good 80s movies is that these look like if they were made yesterday!
If you watch movies with Cary Grant or Errol Flynn you see them as if those were made in completely different historic era… but these…
It’s extremely remarkable…
As a screen writer I often think that “Judge Reinhold would be perfect for this role” or “lets make him Robert Wuhl type of guy”… not even mentioning that I wrote an action-adventure for Val Kilmer 10 years ago… and then you get an instant shock when you see how they look today!
F… it.

Howie Decker August 24, 2012 at 2:31 pm

That’s a GREAT point! Some 80s movies were so well made, that the more they hold up today, the harder it is to believe the actors are now so old. Thanks for reading and commenting – looking forward to checking out your site American 80s!

Jonathan Mayne August 27, 2012 at 9:26 am

Cracking post! I’ve was telling all my friends about these in the pub last night and they were every bit as shocked as I was. Although my partner got the Maggie Simpson one in just one attempt! Although between you and me I think it was just a lucky punch. 🙂

Nice work.

Howie Decker August 27, 2012 at 9:50 am

Hah! Hearing that these lists are being shared and discussed at a pub is the most genuinely uplifting compliment we could ever get. Thanks for sharing Jonathan! We’ll keep trying to create pub-worthy content!

Yelinna August 30, 2012 at 7:16 pm

More thingies that made us feel old:
-If Ash from Pokemon aged, he would be in his 30s by now.
-Remember the kids (Lex and Tim) from Jurassic Park? They likely have their own kids now.
-Wanna get exponential? In the 80s there were floppy disks of 700 KB. In the 90s there were floppy disks of 1.44 MB. In early 2000s you could purchase a 32MB USB memory stick. Now (2012) you can easily find 16GB tiny memory sticks.
-USB ports are 20 years old.
-Windows XP is more than 10 years old.
-If DVD format were a human, now she would be old enough to be in secondary school. Its predecessor, VCD format, would be old enough to buy alcohol… legally.
-there are tall adult trees growing up in what was a soccer field when the Chernobyl disaster happened.

Reek Skeezy November 17, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Wow @ Silver Hawks… That and Centourians (sp) where my favs… Smdh I’m only 30 but this post just made me feel old lol

Howie Decker November 17, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Silverhawks were my favorite too. There’s a humorous “Where Are They Now?” post about them on this site as well. Thanks for reading!

Ellie May 16, 2018 at 8:14 am

I was born 1986 and I don’t feel old. Ppl in their 30s aren’t old! Heck, no ones even middle aged till 40 or 45! These articles are silly.

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