10 Things That Make Children of the 80s Feel Really Old

Today, Jonathan Ke Quan turns 41.

Why do we care? Because he played Short Round in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Short Round is 41 years old today. Let that sink in.

Every day my body reminds me that I am rapidly aging, but every once in a while pop culture chips in with something like this that makes us Children of the 80s feel that much older.

As the years zoom by like K.I.T.T. in Pursuit Mode, let’s take a look at 10 other things that remind us of just how old we are:

10. If Maggie Simpson aged, she’d be 25 years old now.

The Simpsons debuted as an animated short on The Tracy Ullman Show in 1987. At the time, Maggie Simpson was 1. If she had aged with the show over the course of its 500+ episodes, she would now be 25 years old. (Homer & Marge would be in their 50s, and Bart & Lisa in their 30s)

9. They haven’t made these in 20 years. 

We’re talking about the actual JELL-O Pudding Pops, not that Popsicle brand abomination that resurfaced in 2004. The original “frozen pudding on a stick” vanished sometime in the early 1990s.

8. Harrison Ford is 70.

If you listen to our podcast, you’ll recall we mentioned Harrison Ford turning 70 last month. Han Solo and Indiana Jones will never age in our minds, but knowing that the man who portrayed them was in his prime 30+ years ago is quite harrowing.

7. If the classic love story of Lloyd Christmas and Mary Swanson inspired you to make a baby, that baby would now be 18.

If lovelorn Lloyd’s classic lines like these got you in the mood for romance, that love-child born of Dumb & Dumber lust would now be 18 years old.

6. Next week is the 26th anniversary of the debut of the Silverhawks.

The Silverhawks television show debuted on September 8, 1986. Why pick such a random cartoon for this list instead of flagship properties like G.I. Joe, Transformers or Masters of the Universe? Because Silverhawks was the space-equivalent of a series created even earlier. If you’re old enough to remember and appreciate the Silverhawks, then you’re certainly fond of their predecessor, the Thundercats, which premiered in 1985.

5. This is Oliver from The Brady Bunch:

4. Bridget Fonda is almost 50 and retired 10 years ago.

We remember the fresh-faced and youthful beauty Bridget Fonda from movies such as Doc Hollywood and Single White Female. Doesn’t seem that long ago, right? She ended up making over 30 movies, but retired in 2003. Read more here.

3. The Game Boy is 1 year older than Kristen Stewart.

The Nintendo Game Boy was released in North America in August 1989. To us old school console gamers, the hand held gaming thing still feels somewhat new. Even the PSP doesn’t seem like it could be almost 9 years old already.

Some fans of Twilight feel like they’ve been watching Kristen Stewart their whole life. We’ve been playing hand held Tetris since before she was born.

2. Compact Discs came out 3 decades ago.

My guess is that 85% of the people reading this can remember the first CD they bought. The progression from cassette tapes to CDs was magical, and everyone who was anyone bought a Discman to replace their Walkman. It doesn’t seem like it was 30 years ago that we had to borrow our dad’s pocket knife to cut our new CD out of that 18-inch plastic straight jacket so we could listen to it on the ride home from the store.

1. People born AFTER Forrest Gump premiered can vote this year.

Forrest Gump hit theaters in July of 1994. Anyone born after that is now 18 years old. Remember how grown up you felt at 18? How old do you feel now?