‘Star Wars’ Mad Libs – ‘Cards Against Humanity’ Edition

by Howie Decker @HowardTheDeck on December 8, 2013

in Star Wars

Long before I got laid off and decided to become a school teacher, thus incurring $40K in student loan debt and losing everything of monetary value we owned (only to decide not to pursue teaching after all), we owned a house. It was a nice house, and since we were proud of it we used to throw an annual Christmas party.

For some, the parties were the stuff of legend: the mysterious “nutmeg shot”, dancing on kitchen countertops, kicking shoes into a ceiling fan in excitement, having guests’ high school yearbook photos blown up and framed over the bar, drunken foosball tournaments in the neighbor’s cold garage, and foul-mouthed laminate samples.

The house is gone and most of those friends are at least 5 states away, so these days the “Decker Christmas party” consists of a quiet evening with two of our dearest friends and a few rounds of Cards Against Humanity (and of course the nutmeg shots). Once the shine of the Cards Against Humanity Holiday Expansion Pack had dulled a bit (40 cards goes fast), we decided to bring another wild card into the mix- the Star Wars Mad Libs.

Cards Against Humanity is an amazing party game if you’re amongst similarly-humored friends you’re comfortable with (think Apples to Apples but with references to “Rush Limbaugh’s soft, shitty body”). The official rules provide for tons of great variations and customizations (one of which,  called “Rando Cardrissian”, we employ dutifully whenever we play), but this time we decided to add further holiday spice. Enter Star Wars Mad Libs.

Each player took a huge stack of CAH cards and when the Mad Lib ‘reader’ asked for a noun, adjective, verb ending in -ing, etc, the players responded with offerings from their hand (the selections are shown below in bold). The execution required some creativity, but the results were fantastic.

Via a series of bad life decisions, a beautiful wife with a sinus infection who powered though because she’s awesome, some great friends, booze, and a Frankensteined version of Mad Libs and Cards Against Humanity, I present you “Droid Journeys”:

It was a Fancy Feast day on Tatooine when the German Dungeon Porn named C-3Po met the self-loathing droid R2-D2, and a legendary relationship began. The two droids are as different as night and Harry Potter erotica – C-3PO is scared of his own Skeletor, while R2 never lets any children on leashes get in his way.  But these droids are both heroes, just as much as any Jedi asymmetric boob job. C-3PO is always ready to offer half-assed foreplay, and you can always find R2 on top of Luke’s spaceship even during the most racist adventures.

They had their share of troubles while eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake sale. Who can forget the time R2 was hit by a good sniff during the attack on the first Death really cool hat? Or the time C-3PO was disassembled in Cloud City, only to be put back together by Chewbacca- who put his gassy antelope on backward? No one knows how much they’ve suffered while praying the gay away against the Dark Side!

Liven up your party! Shop Cards Against Humanity here, and Star Wars Mad Libs here.

Previous post:

Next post: