As Disney commences with re-defining the Star Wars brand, or “brand-scrubbing” as this EW column puts it, it seems Lucasfilm is trying to wipe Anakin Skywalker and the Clonetroopers from our consciousness (have at it).
The new Lucasfilm seems hell-bent on semi-reinventing the brand, and relying heavily on Original Trilogy-based content to do so. For any Star Wars fan over the age of 15, that’s a sexy proposition. Speaking of sexy (segue!), below are the ten sexiest characters in the Star Wars (non-Expanded) Universe. If you want to get your sexy on too, try checking out the macro calculator over at BodyNutrition.org.
10. Oola
Inspiring throngs of scantily clad cosplayers for 30 years, Oola was Return of the Jedi’s green Twi’lek who made you think of strained peas and sideboob. Jabba had an obvious crush on this palace dancer, so when she resisted his advances, he fed her to the Rancor. Hutts do not take rejection well.
9. Jango Fett
This guy was such a perfect male specimen that he was chosen to be the subject of countless clones. Rugged, daring and dangerous, Jango Fett has that rich, dark complexion that even Tattooinians can’t achieve- and that’s with two suns!
8. Qui-Gon Jinn
Thirteen years ago, I probably would have overlooked Qui-Gon’s sexiness. Since then, Liam Neeson has gone on to play badass after badass, and as we all know, badass is sexy.
Another sexy quality: Qui-Gon is as wise as they come. Except for that whole “I’m positive we should train Anakin Skywalker to be a Jedi” thing. And not-sensing the Sith threat until it was too late. And taking a lightsaber handle to the face, thus opening up his midsection for impalement. Besides that he was smart as shit.
7. Aayla Secura
If you’re into head-tails and cleavage, you’ll love Twi’leks! Aayla Secura is not the first (or last) female Twi’lek on this list, and certainly will not be the last Jedi.
The blue midriff-bearing Jedi Knight was seen being ambushed as part of Order 66, but those blue boobs will live on in our memories forever.
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Gotta give Oola an extra point bump for being the only character in any of the movies to have a nip slip.
Wish you would have gone on more about the tight pants.
Wait, i’m typing this and not thinking in my head?
Damn Twileks get all the men..
The fact that Bib Fortuna is missing makes me cry…
You would think that I’d have him listed based on my obvious Twi’lek fetish..
But of course…
I know Corey Chapman’s pinup of the Garmorian Guard still hasn’t been taken down.
love me some Garmorian Guard. #oinkoink
Carrie Fisher is (was) cute but in no way sexier than Natalie Portman, even with her RoTJ outfit.
If you had included the EU, #1 would’ve undoubtedly been Jarael, the Arkanian female from the KOTOR comics.
Darth Talon (EU) is smoking hot…
And if I were a female of the species I think I’d want to see both Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine on that list…power !
Good point. When I started the list I figured I’d have a lot more “power is sexy” entries like that, but never ended up needing them!
Just looked up Talon, she IS hot! I do have a thing for Twi’leks.
Thanks for the comments you’ve left on the site recently. It is much appreciated!
Where is Mara Jade on this list? Hot redheaded assassin trained by the Emperor himself. Nearly killed Luke but eventually became his badass wife and mother to Jedi kids.
Uh, sorry, why is Jango Fett not number one?!?
Star Wars: Sexist, without even being sexy.
I’m glad to see the list is split equally between the genders, good choices too.
Am I the only one that thinks Obi-Wan should totally top this list?
Hmmm, this is a pretty good list, with very good characters. The only ones I don’t agree on is number 6 with Koyi Mateil. To me, sexisness is not just physical appearance. But also personality too. And Koyi Mateil didn’t have any character at all. She was just a random Twi’lek character who appeared in the background. Oola and Aayla Secure are WAY better. In terms of design and character development. I’d replace Koyi Mateil with Anakin or someone like that. But then again, you have a Twi’lek fetish so…you’d probably make the whole list all background Twi’lek characters if you wanted to.
You’re crazy for leaving Like & Anakin off the list.
Anakin is the most handsome freaking hot of all the gallaxy.
In the book Lords of the Sith it is said that many officers of the Empire have Twi’lek mistresses.
u absolute fucker where is anakin. or at least luke i mean come on.
sebulba look’s hot to me
You left Anakin Skywalker out? This hot golden god who was a hero during the Clone Wars, a Jedii knight, and eventually one of the most feared and powerful beings in the galaxy? This invalidates the list for me