Total Recall didn’t need to go there.
There are lots of flicks that don’t really need a remake. But, there are plenty of others that definitely could benefit from an application of that shiny Hollywood movie magic we hear so much about.
This is a list of five movies that are in dire need of a remake/re-envisioning for various reasons. Check ’em out and I’m sure you’ll agree. If you don’t, then I hope someone remakes you. Shots fired!
Commando
Now, Commando is a cult classic and I personally would love to see it get remade in a big way. Who better than Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to take over the lead role? He would be extremely believable as a former soldier whose daughter just got kidnapped by an old enemy. Attach a big time action director to the flick and you have gold!
Fantastic Four
Seriously, did anyone really like the first one? Like REALLY!? After two terrible movies Marvel’s first family deserves their own well-written, well-cast, and well-directed movie. It should be a more serious, close to three hour sci-fi drama with a good dose of humor and family atmosphere.
Keep Chiklis as The Thing but the get rid of that awful foam suit. Too bad Matt Damon is too old to play Johnny Storm. Good Will Hunting era Damon would have been perfect! Also, the flick should have a sweet monster fight vs Moleman and end with a victory over Dr. Doom.
Conan the Barbarian
There was an extremely lackluster Conan the Barbarian remake made a few years ago that could barely hold a candle to the original, which is pretty tough to beat but if there were a time for a great barbarian action flick it is now!
The title says it all: leave your brain at the door and watch a really strong dude bash some brains in on a quest for vengeance. All they’d have to do is keep it simple- don’t over complicate the plot with unnecessary gimmicks. Whoever is cast as the Cimmerian has big shoes to fill and even though Jason Momoa was a solid choice, he was still lacking in the “By Crom!” department.
Demolition Man
The story of Demolition Man was way ahead of its time. It was made in an age where effects did not quite catch up to ideas. Instead of Hollywood wasting money on a Total Recall remake, they could have struck gold with a new Demolition Man.
Throw in a Stallone cameo and an interesting cast for a really awesome sci-fi action epic. If the story is kept the same, we will have a very entertaining joyride into a believable looking future.
Speed
I know that Speed is at or near the top of a lot of people’s all time favorite movie lists. When it came out it in 1994 it was a unique cultural phenomenon that lasted a few months, but then what!? Nothing. Pop quiz, hot shot. Does the movie hold up? Absolutely not.
Speed is dated in every single way you can imagine. This flick deserves a re-envisioning in the worst way. Maybe something set in a realistic outer space setting? It makes sense, think about it. We would even let Keanu have a cameo.
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Rich Stambolian (@btcrich) can be found in his native habitat of Flushing, Queens. When he’s not in the wild he enjoys a good comic book, a good rasslin’ match, a video game or two, and maybe an ice cold sud.
I agree about F4 (isn’t the reboot already in works?) and Demolition Man.
I am indifferent about Speed.
I dissagree with Commando remake, because that film perfectly captured the ONLY era in which it could have been made – the ’80s. Making that film in 2010s would not work.
I dissagree about your Conan reboot suggestions – ”leave your brain at the door and watch a really strong dude bash some brains in on a quest for vengeance”.
The 2010 Conan The Barbarian did exactly that… and it became really boring, really fast. All that action with no ”soul” to it doesn’t work.
An FF remake is being talked about but nothing is set in stone and we will probably have to wait a while for anything tangible to materialize.
The Conan remake from a couple of years ago lacked the charm from the original. I should clarify in that it should be a straight up action flick with a heavy dose of charm and or so much over the topness that you can’t help but love it, kind of like the last Rambo flick.
Lets remake Commando and F4, but leave the rest alone. They tried and failed with Conan, Speed was good just the way it was, and no one gives a sh*t about Demolition Man.
Love the idea of The Rock in Commando- great casting.
Demolition Man is a hard sell but think about that plot line. You basically get an 80’s action hero unfrozen in a world where everything is outlawed for the betterment of mankind AND he has to catch his nemesis who is also an unfrozen criminal.
Also, The Rock could probably be in anything and I would watch it.
Speed was Die Hard on a bus.
At first when I saw Speed I was like WHAAA but it does make sense in a way – it is one of those movies that is SO rooted in it’s era. But Speed 2 might have been the nail in the “ever doing anything with Speed ever again” coffin.
No on Conan.. SUPER YES on Demolition Man. I want to see how the 3 shells work.
I don’t think they will show Stallone pulling shit out of his ass
with two of them, and scraping the rest out with the third shell 😛
Ditto to what Corey Chapman wrote above… Speed is cemented in its era. I wouldn’t come close to a theater if they remade it. Conan had its shot. I am a Demolition Man sympathizer but I could see it flop like total recall. Commando, although quintessential to 80s action flicks, could work in the expendables era we leave in. I doubt an F4 reboot would be a hit, but couldn’t be worse.