The 50 Greatest G.I. Joe Characters of All Time

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by Howie Decker @HowardTheDeck

30. Sci-Fi

A guy named Seymour Fine from Montana seems more likely to pop up in a 50 Greatest Public Accountants of All Time list. Sci-Fi was one of the first Joes to sport a uniform color more suited to a highlighter, and many Joe fans ate it up.


29. Falcon

In 1987 the Joes added to their leadership hierarchy by revealing a new Lieutenant. A special ops Green Beret, Sunbow introduced Falcon as Duke’s younger half-brother with authority issues. Voiced by Don Johnson in G.I. Joe: The Movie, Falcon spends more time hitting on Jinx than training to whip Cobra ass.


28. Hit & RunĀ 

Like so many other figures, Larry Hama had the talent to breathe a world of life into this character with only a couple short paragraphs. One of those overlooked late 80s figures, Hit & Run has a terrific military look, awesome accessories, and loads of personality- though one has to wonder how masochistic you must be to name yourself Hit & Run when your parents were killed by a drunk driver. -Justin

I can’t remember Hit & Run, and everytime I try to Google him I just get images of Lindsay Lohan. -HD


27. Flash

Laser Rifle Trooper (Codename: Flash) was a standout that a lot of kids clamored for when he was released as part of the original 12. On pegs filled with mostly monotone green and black figures, his bright orange padding stood out as something that looked protective but futuristic. His rifle featured a cord that attached to his back pack. While kids were familiar with “blasters” at this point in time, this rifle fits the ‘5 minutes into the future’ look that G.I. Joe always strived for. -John


26. Rip Cord

Wallace Weems is G.I. Joe’s HALO Jumper, and dispenses free vision diagnoses to light-hitting little league baseball players. That’s it. That’s where the book closes on Rip Cord. Let’s move on.


25. Quick Kick

Quick Kick was introduced in 1985 as the Joe team martial arts expert, and owner of one of the coolest real names ever: MacArthur S. Ito. G.I. Joe recruited him after seeing his work as a Hollywood stuntman, presumably after Lee Majors failed to return their faxes.


24. Rock ‘n Roll

One of the original 3 3/4″ figures, Rock n’ Roll was the Joe team’s first machine gunner. Hailing from Malibu, CA, he spends his off duty time surfing, playing guitar, lifting weights, and yep, we’re all thinking it- slayin’ ladies.


23. Torpedo

Arriving on the scene in 1983, Torpedo was the original G.I. Joe SEAL. A scuba instructor from Hawaii, he was proficient in demolitions, and his action figure was proficient in losing his flippers.


22. Airborne

If you’re a 2000s era mother, Airborne is a fizzy tablet you put in a glass of water and drink in hopes of warding off sickness. If you’re a male child of the 80s, Airborne is a helicopter assault trooper named Franklin Talltree.


21. Low-Light

Low-Light is the main character of one of the most memorable Sunbow episodes, where Cobra takes over the Joes’ dreams. Inducing nightmares that lead to the entire teams’ collective loss of sleep, it is revealed that Low-Light is afraid of the dark. And rats. And his dad was a dick.


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