Sophia Shares It All – The Top 10 Sophia Petrillo Quotes from Golden Girls

She claimed to have slept with and modeled for Picasso.

She was supposedly best friends with Mama Celeste and knew the Sinatras.

Was any of this true?

That’s anybody’s guess but one thing that we do know for sure is that “The Golden Girls” matriarch Sophia Petrillo knew it all. Every anecdote and insane story held just a teeny tiny pearl of wisdom. Here is what we have deemed Sophia’s Top 10 Quotes to Live By…or at least to think about when life is handing you lemons.

1. “Excuse me Rose, but I haven’t had sex in fifteen years and its starting to get on my nerves.”

2. “Hi Stan, and that’s a beautiful toupee you’re wearing. Great, now we’re both liars.”

3. “Silly Rabbi, tricks are for kids.”

4. “Look, you didn’t ask me for my opinion, but I’m old, so I’m giving it anyway.”

5. “Why do blessings wear disguises? If I were a blessing, I’d run around naked.”

6. “Fasten your seatbelt, slut puppy. This ain’t gonna be no cakewalk!”

7. “Did you bring your little wife with you or did you make her stay home and clean out her toy box?”

8. “If I met a man who was over seventy but still looked half-way decent, I’d be on my back faster than you could say, ‘I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!’”

9. “We never forgot anything in Sicily because people would tie string around each other’s fingers. No… wait, it wasn’t string, it was piano wire. And wait… it wasn’t your finger, it was your neck. In fact, piano wire was the second-biggest export in our village. You know what the number one export was?”

10. “Picture it… Sicily.”

If every older woman could be more like Sophia, I’m fairly certain there would be more laughter and fewer wars, but that’s just my opinion. Come back next week for Rose’s Rose Colored Glass Quotes! You won’t want to miss being a friend.

Mandi (@3icecubes) is a Golden Girls obsessed social butterfly who runs threeicecubes.com. She loves music, animals and eclectic people. Xoxo