The United States celebrates Flag Day every June 14, to commemorate the day in 1777 when our flag was adopted.
If you subscribe to the Eddie Izzard School of World History you know that countries used to build empires with “the cunning use of flags”. I still love this video, as it served as the only way for me to introduce a classroom full of South Carolina high schoolers to a cross-dressing British comedian. It’s about flags! It’s social studies! I’ll get my things.
While I like to think we have a handsome flag, not all of them have such a rock solid design. Here are some of the worst flags in U.S. and world history.
Central African Republic
“Ok, we need some colors for our flag.”
“How about all of them?”
“Done!”
Belize
“This is a nice looking flag, I like how the red pops on the edges. You know what it needs though? Couple of shirtless dudes. And make it remind me of Scrubs.”
Mozambique
Books! Tools! Machine guns!
Sicily
Picture it: Sicily. Three-legged face-crotches frolicking on the countryside, swinging their wheat-penises to and fro.
Guam
“Sir, we need to unveil our flag to the people at today’s address. We have nothing.”
“Correction. We have Microsoft Paint and clip art.”
Isle of Man
More three-legged nationalism!
British Indian Ocean Territory
If this flag’s primary job function is to generate sea sickness in its viewers, it deserves a raise.
And we’re just giving flags to everyone now? What the hell is the British Indian Ocean Territory? It sounds like they just threw a bunch of words together so they could make a revolting flag. That’s it. I hereby declare this the nation of He-Man Pancake KMart.
Kansas
“Let’s make it look real official by putting some Latin words on it!”
“OOH yeah, and a sunflower!”
Libya
The nice part: it’s its own green screen, so really the flag can be anything you want. I think this one says “Libya”:
Funniest thing I have read in weeks!
“He-Man Pancake KMart” best nation ever
I’d like to volunteer my services to be the first Underscoopfire ambassador to He-Man Pancake KMart.
RE Sicily. So does that girl have three vaginas? And a head?! What else does Sicily have? Fuck it, don’t care. Tri pussy in the house!
From now on, when I see the flag of Belize, I’ll have the tune to Guy Love stuck in my head. Great list!
As the sovereign leader of She-Ra Waffle Caldor, I am declaring war on your pitiful little country of He-Man Pancake KMart! Prepare for invasion.
Caldor. Fantastic.