Tank’s Tricks ‘r Treats: 31 Scary Movies in 31 Days – Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

Hello kiddies, time for another day of Tank’s Tricks ‘r Treats.

In case you missed it, I’m planning on watching and writing about 31 scary movies in 31 days leading up to Halloween 2012. Movie #1 was Night of the Living Dead (1990).

For this installment I bring you the theatrical cut of Halloween (6): The Curse of Michael Myers. It has the dubious distinction of being Paul Rudd’s first movie. Wait, I’m sorry, Paul Stephen Rudd’s first movie.

Movie #2 –  Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

I have only one major memory of this movie.  Kids, there once was a time before my wife and I were married- in fact, we were in the wooing stage. During this time, she would go with me to see horror films in the theaters. Thanks to the movie Se7en, that tradition ended.

Before that fateful day, I convinced her to see Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers with me. I’m sure she regretted that decision. I think we all regretted that decision. This was, and is, by far the worst of the Halloween series. Even the Rob Zombie remakes had their moments (even if the film is blasphemous). I would go as far as to say that this is one of the worst horror films I have seen.

In no way is this one of those “so bad it’s good” movies where you can have fun with it. I haven’t seen it since that day in the theater. I was in Best Buy a few weeks ago and I saw a three pack with parts 6,7 and 8 of the Halloween series. Apparently I am a completist now, and when I decided to do the marathon again I thought it was time to revisit it. Once again I am regretting the decision.

Basically the plot is Michael Myers and his niece, Jamie Lloyd, have disappeared. Jamie was kidnapped by a bunch of evil druids (is there any other kind) who protect Michael. And now, six years later, Jamie has escaped after giving birth to Michael’s (uh what?)child. She runs to Haddonfield to get Dr. Loomis to help her again.

Meanwhile, the family that adopted Laurie Strode is living in the Myers house (uh what?) and are being stalked by Myers. It’s the curse of Thorn that Michael is possessed by that makes him kill his family, and it’s up to Tommy Doyle and Dr. Loomis, to stop them all. Parts 4 and 5 aren’t the best flicks but they established a mythos and character development that piqued my interest and this was supposed to be the film to solve it. The only thing they solved is how to end the series. This movie was so bad that the next sequel acts as if 4-6 never happened.

This was a painful experience and only one word suits this movie. Since this series isn’t called “Tank’s Piles of Shit or Treats”, this film has to be classified as a Trick!

 

Check out Movie #1 in this series here.

 

Chris Tanski (@P0LISHPHEN0M) (the o’s are zeroes) lives in Rochester, NY & manages a movie theater. Being a child of the 80s, nothing gets him going more than a daily dose of movies from his childhood. They are his muse & inspire him to be a better human.

 

 

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