The Bachelor/Mondays at 8:00PM EST on ABC
I don’t know what baffles me more: How many seasons this “reality” series has logged or the fact that many of the very women who tweet about the pathetic nature of their televised brethren have weekly “Last Rose Parties”, where they swill chardonnay, nosh on a fine gouda and get their judgmental on.
I actually agree with the thought process that women don’t come off looking all that great after binge-watching a season’s worth of this pimp-stravaganza. The men don’t exactly shine either; they’re just in the more enviable position, what with women flinging themselves at their every smirk. They wax their chests more than wax poetic, and even on The Bachelorette they rise above the cattiness of the competition to somehow collectively wink and nod at the camera. Men flinging themselves in unison at one woman on TV is just odd anyway; it’s a nightclub come to life.
That said….this season’s Bachelor deserves to remain one. A bachelor I mean. Wait…they all want to remain one, really (alternate show title suggestion: Cake & Eat It Too). He deserves to remain one while wanting to actually find true love. Juan Pablo is a mess, without the hot. Despite the fact that his name smacks of Rico Suave, he remarkably makes the one-hit wonder seem relevant and even wished-for in lieu of Le Understudy. Pablo is a disheveled Romeo-wannabe, with a redeeming quality seemingly about as close as some deodorant.
Pablo made headlines recently for some cracks he made at the expense of another Bachelor. He tried to pass it off as the stuff of language barrier, but it need not matter ultimately; fans of The Bachelor deserve such a knucklehead.
Beyond yet another season of this inane reality series that manages to make the Kardashians seem high-brow, it seems as if another huge Bachelor wedding looms. Hopefuls from past seasons are shown in their seats during the ad for the “TV event,” including Trista Sutter, a woman who got famous after being rejected by a Bachelor gone-by, only to become the first Bachelorette and then proceed to marry and…gulp!…stay with the man given the “final rose”. Her mom must be so proud. She almost manages to make Kate Gosselin appear together. Almost.
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Vinnie Penn (@VinniePenn) first hit the airwaves as co-host to Glenn Beck. By 2001 he was a regular on Howard Stern, and his work has appeared in national magazines such as Maxim, Hit Parader, and Cracked. He currently writes for MSN. Visit his website VinniePenn.net.
