Professional Wrestling’s Greatest T-Shirts

It’s deceptively simple to become a pro wrestler.  I’ve met and talked with many in my day, some I consider friends.

Here’s how it’s done:

Find a wrestling school.

Don’t give up.

Drive hundreds and thousands of miles honing your craft.

Earn everything you get.

Along the way there will be bills that need to be paid. Most wrestlers will try to get a popular design on a t-shirt and then get that shirt onto fans’ grubby backs for about twenty bucks a piece. From the genuine article to bootlegs and mistakes, let’s take a look at some of the funniest and most memorable t-shirts from squared circle history.

READ ALSO: The 25 Greatest Tag Teams of All Time

I Broke Wahoo’s Leg

Way back in 1977 WWE Hall of Famer Greg “The Hammer” Valentine was feuding with fellow future legend Chief Wahoo McDaniel.  Wahoo’s legs were too strong and just too damn thick for the Hammer to lock on his signature figure four leg lock.  The solution? Break the Native American’s leg.  Valentine went on to wear this t-shirt with “No More Wahoo” on the back for the rest of the summer until McDaniel came back to secure his revenge.

The t-shirt is so legendary that over 30 years later hardcore wrestling fans still wear it. Even the wrestlers themselves break this out of mothballs and iron on transfer kits. Feast your eyes on the Canadian Ninja, Portia Perez modeling her latest, and the current patron saint of wrestling fans, CM Punk, with his spin on the classic.

Speaking of iron on letters for t-shirts I won’t go through all of the great ones, but I love Terry Funk’s “Dusty sucks eggs” and Dusty Rhodes’ “Son of a plumber” shirts as much as the next guy. But that would take away so much from Ox Baker.

Ox Baker’s t-shirts

Ox Baker was one of the most intimidating heels in all of wrestling. Known worldwide for his powerful promos and the deadly heart punch, Ox was iconic. Even if you’re not a wrestling fan you may remember him from classic movies like Escape from New York and The Big Brawl. I will always remember him for his t-shirts.

Of course his best shirt would be the one he wore on the Price is Right way back in 1981. Big Mean and Ugly indeed.

Never Forget

There is a fine line between inappropriate but funny and just plain sick. Wrestling treads that line most every week. So when someone remembers the short-lived but long remembered heel tag team from the 1980s featuring Akeem the African Dream and the Big Boss Man, well it’s a concept destined for a t-shirt. You see, this giant pairing was known as the Twin Towers. And there were other twin towers out there in the world. Always remember, or to put it another way:

No Carpet, No Drapes

Finally, the raunchiest t-shirt in pro wrestling history. Let’s get into the Wrestling WABAC machine again. In May of 2008 TNA Knockout Roxxi lost a match and had her head shaved. While many wrestlers have worn masks or wigs to cover their lack of hair Roxxi embraced it. She then decided that bald was beautiful and continued the trim look all the way down. Or so her t-shirt would suggest.

“No carpet No drapes” indeed.

Here’s a picture of Roxxi with more hair (on her head, the rest is up for debate).

If this article has inspired anyone, I wear a size XL.

Top image courtesy Barber Shop Window

Kevin Hellions is the creator of Team Hellions. Hailing from upstate New York, you can find him enjoying everything from 2CW to the Young Adult (meaning comic book) section of the local library.  He can be reached on the Twitters @TeamHellions, on Facebook (or LIKE the Team Hellions page) and on his very own blog TeamHellions.com.