Now that we’ve seen what might be Battle Cat concept art for the new Masters of the Universe movie, let’s speculate on…
We already know that Kick-Ass 2 director Jeff Wadlow had turned a Masters of the Universe film script rewrite in to Columbia Pictures. This is the same Wadlow who is writing the X-Force screenplay for Fox, making him the first person to script Deadpool, Beast Man, Wolverine and Skeletor at the same time. No one since Bay or Chu has held this much nerd capital in the palm of their hand.
We have no idea what elements of Masters of the Universe were included in Wadlow’s script, but I HAVE THE POWER (to blindly hope for these five things in an MOTU film):
A Mounted Battle Between He-Man and Skeletor astride Battle Cat and Panthor
I maintain that one of the coolest things about Masters of the Universe is that it’s essentially a Boris Vallejo painting come to life. I can picture it now – He-Man and Skeletor ride into battle ahead of their forces, swords clashing as the forces of Eternia and Skeletor’s armies clash behind them, akin to the men and orcs meeting at the black gate in Lord of the Rings. All the while, as He-Man and Skeletor slash at each other, Battle Cat and Panthor attempt to claw each other to pieces.
Orko. Yeah, I said it.
Look, nostalgically, I f*cking LOVED Orko. He was one of my favorite toys to play with, and he won a lot of battles for the good guys because he was a bad ass magician when he wasn’t on TV. If handled correctly, Orko could very easily be the Masters version of C-3PO – a bit of comedic levity in an otherwise dark world. At worst, he becomes Jar Jar Binks, Mutt Ravenwood, or Ripcord…but I’m willing to take the risk.
Castle Eternia
Look, Castle Grayskull and Snake Mountain are awesome, but if you really want to set the tone for a barbarian fantasy-meets-science fiction movie, you absolutely must include Castle Eternia in your film. Combining ancient design and incredible technology, the playset come to life could make for an incredible starting point for Prince Adam on his journey into becoming Eternia’s guardian.
A Cameo by Tyson Kidd and Cesaro, the “Masters of the WWE Universe”
No, I’m not kidding. This hodgepodge tag team of two guys forgotten on the main roster is precisely what both the WWE and a Masters of the Universe film need. FACT. Kidd and Cesaro have both incredible physicality and charisma, both of which could be well served in roles for the Mattel Masterpiece. Honestly – who wouldn’t want to see Cesaro and Kidd as Eternian warriors or fodder for Skeletor’s army?
Hordak
Look, I love Beast Man, Mer-Man, Tri-Clops, and Trap-Jaw. I love Skeletor, Evil-Lyn, and Stinkor. But The Evil Horde, and specifically Hordak, were my shit. Mantenna, Leech, Grizzlor, Modulok – all of those were toys that I regularly played with as a kid, well after my interest in Masters had waned. Hordak is the ultimate evil, his design is incredible, and – and probably most importantly – he opens the doors for one of the coolest female action heroes out there, She-Ra.
Basically, Hordak is a license to print money.
Jay Malone (@JCorduroy) once lived in a cupboard under the stairs, has been to a galaxy far, far, away (Chicago), and frequently fights off bouts of boredom by rolling dice and pretending to be someone else. His dog looks like Stitch, and his 6 year old son was named after a Latverian dictator…just don’t tell his wife.
Top image via NgBoy | Hordak vs Skeletor via Axel Gimenez & Chris Faccone
