Bordello of Blood (also known as Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood) is considered by many to be the nail in the coffin for the Tales from the Crypt franchise. Upon its release in 1996 the film was a critical failure, to say the least. It was the second film in a planned trilogy (the third film was reluctantly released a decade later).
As a kid I didn’t care about any of that; I owned Bordello of Blood on VHS and watched it endlessly. The movie was about a bordello staffed by bunch of sexy vampires (sounds awesome right?). I was a huge Tales from the Crypt fan in general, I would defy my grandparents and stay up until midnight so I could watch it on HBO. With its uncensored horror content, what wasn’t to like?
A few months ago, I wrote a retrospective movie review proclaiming my love for the film. Upon sharing the article in certain social media groups I was bombarded with comments lambasting me. All the ruckus caused me to actually re-watch the movie as an adult and I’m sorry to report that the movie actually deserves a lot of the hate. The glow of nostalgia fell over me and led me to believe that this film was far greater than it actually was.
With all that in mind, allow me remind you why this film is not completely without merit. While it may not be the greatest horror comedy, here are a few reasons why Bordello of Blood deserves a revisit. And no, “vampire Corey Feldman” did not make the list.
4. Dennis Miller in His Prime
Now, I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but remember when Dennis Miller was funny? Miller’s ideology changed considerably in the years after the September 11, 2001 attacks, when he became one of the few Hollywood celebrities backing George W. Bush and the war in Iraq. I prefer to remember the Dennis Miller Live Dennis Miller. He often jokingly refers to this film as his “magnum opus”; which is just awesome. Of course, that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.
3. The Final Vampire Massacre
The ending sequence of the film finds Dennis Miller and a pastor (armed with super-soakers filled with holy water) as they invade the Bordello. The scene is awesome, as we see half-naked vampires running around in fear and others being dismembered. The movie may not be a classic but this scene is definitely worth a mention.
2. Blood, Gore, Vampires & Boobs
A lot of horror enthusiasts will claim that they love horror movies for profound reasons. The truth is that a lot of us just love onscreen gore and boobs. Bordello of Blood is basically vampire porn. So, turn your mind off and just enjoy it!
1. Angie Everhart in Her Prime
During the early 90s Angie Everhart rose to fame gracing the cover of endless magazine covers; from Sports Illustrated to Glamour. She would later appear in many lame movies over the years. The ultimate display of the sexiness of Everhart was her role as queen vampire Lilith. The Tales from the Crypt franchise has a history of choosing the hottest women; check out this list of The 6 Hottest Tales From The Crypt Cameos for proof.
What’s your memory of Bordello of Blood? Sound off in the comments section below.
READ ALSO: Tales From The Crypt: Why The Cryptkeeper Needs A Reboot
Jesse Gumbarge is editor-in-chief at JarvisCity. He’s a fan of old-school horror flicks and starting pointless debates. You can contact him at JesseGumbarge@JarvisCity.com.
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Great post. Makes me really want to watch it again as an adult. As a kid/teen, I was only watching it hoping to see nudity. Priorities change (kinda)!
I was a big Dennis Miller fan back then, and I went and saw this in the theater when it was out. I had to see it by myself, though. I couldn’t talk my friends into going, they all thought it looked terrible. I really enjoyed it, though, it was a fun flick.
same here, although I was lucky enough to have ONE other person handy who wanted to see it!
I enjoyed the hell out of this flick.
Sure, there are lots of reasons to watch horror films.
Some are full of suspense, drama, good acting, good direction, cool special effects, etc.
Some are just fun to watch for the silly overacting, creative kills, blood, guts, gore, tits and ass.
I hate when people get all high and mighty about gore flicks, slasher films and horror comedy.
There’s nothing wrong with a mindless good time, that’s why so many people dig The Three Stooges, getting drunk, dirty jokes and B-horror films.