I just recently watched Jeff Wadlow’s Kick-Ass 2, I was severely disappointed (to say the least). I was such a huge fan of the original film; the idea of a regular guy (who wasn’t a billionaire) just up and deciding to fight crime was awesome. This got me thinking about one of my personal favorite superheroes growing up: Blankman.
For those of you unfamiliar, Blankman was a 1994 superhero film that was not based on a comic book. The film starred Damon Wayans (as Blankman/Darryl Walker) and David Alan Grier as his brother & reluctant partner-in-crime-prevention.
Darryl is a genius, nerdy man-child still living with his grandmother. After she is murdered in cold blood he decides to take the law into his own hands. Donning a ridiculous costume and a bunch of awesome gadgets (including electric “newchucks”) he begins his crusade to clean up the streets.
With the superhero movie craze at an all-time high, let’s look back at one of the best and silliest the ‘90s had to offer. Here are 7 reasons you should revisit Blankman tonight:
Darryl’s best friend in the world is a robot named J-5. As a kid I always wished I had a friend like that. He followed commands, had an seemingly endless supply of soda and was even a bomb disposal unit. When J-5 meets his demise, you’ll scream at the screen, NOOOO!
6. A Perverted, Wheelchair-bound George Costanza
Jason Alexander plays Larry Stone, Kevin’s boss. He is selfish, manipulative and a jerk. He is pretty much the same person as his character on Seinfeld is, just in a different setting. Seeing as Seinfeld is the greatest sitcom of all time; that’s just awesome!
5. Robin Givens as Kimberly Jonz
She may go down in history as a gold digger who married Mike Tyson for a year and made millions off of their divorce. To a smaller group of us, we will remember Robin Givens as one of the sexiest woman of the ‘90s; she still looks good today. In Blankman she (fairly unconvincingly) plays a journalist after the story behind the masked vigilante. She may not be an Oscar caliber actress, but she is still sexy as hell. Around the release of the movie Givens posed completely nude in Playboy. I was about 10 at the time; my head promptly exploded upon first seeing the photos.
4. Blankman’s Unexpected Orgasm
After Blankman/Darryl first meets Kimberly it is love at first sight. When Kimberly first kisses Darryl it turns into….something else. As a kid I was never quite sure what was happening and even as an adult I don’t think I want to know. After that kiss Blankman starts to have a full body spasm and claims that “something is happening” to him. This all ends with an awkward O face and a goofy smile.
3. It’s Greg Kinnear’s First Movie
Greg Kinnear has starred in many classic movies over the years including, As Good as It Gets, You’ve Got Mail, Stuck on You, Little Miss Sunshine and many more. What a lot of people don’t know is that his very first movie was a bit part as a talk show host on the movie Blankman. He hosts a segment about ordinary citizens that are inspired by the work that Blankman has done. Which brings us to…
2. Midget Man
In another comparison to Kick-ass, after Blankman starts fighting crime he starts to inspire other crime-fighters. In a interview we meet Midget Man (played by Bad Santa’s Tony Cox). The scene is so ridiculous, he is asked what he would do if he had to actually engage a foe. Midget Man demonstrates his skills on a chair but the inadament object overpowers him.
1. Blankman Is An Inspiration To Nerds Everywhere
Blankman represents what any one individual can do, even a dweeb like Darryl. He fights crime and even scores with the sexy Robin Givens (sort of). Keep that in mind kids. If this guy can do it, you can to. Maybe, you shouldn’t go fight crime but you can do at least something that’s notable.
What’s your memory of Blankman? Sound off in the comments.
Jesse Gumbarge is editor-in-chief at JarvisCity. He’s a fan of old-school horror flicks and starting pointless debates. You can contact him at JesseGumbarge@JarvisCity.com.