6 of the most ill-conceived children’s lunchboxes of all time

by Chris Tanski on September 10, 2012

in Funny

Shopping for school supplies is one of the hallmarks of the back to school season.


Some items are pretty standard – no. 2 pencils, college ruled paper, 3 ring binder, etc. One of the few school supplies that really allows students to express themselves is the lunchbox.

Lunchbox makers have historically bought licenses to popular TV, movie, and character properties to enhance their product offering. Children of the 80s certainly remember all of the Star Wars, Transformers, Rainbow Brite, Dukes of Hazzard, and Knight Rider lunchboxes that decorated lunch tables in their childhood.

It seems that for all of the lunchbox licenses that were successful, there were a few that were bad ideas from the start. Whether inappropriate role models, mature imagery, or just plain unpopular concepts, some lunchboxes never should have happened.

Here are 6 of the most ill-conceived children’s lunchboxes of all time: [NSFW]


The Ron Jeremy lunchbox

Not an appropriate role model.



The Lee Harvey Oswald lunchbox

Encouraging children to take an interest in American history, but also not an appropriate role model.


The Stephen Hawking lunchbox

Great role model, didn’t sell.


The Maude lunchbox

Graphic imagery for 70s & 80s middle school cafeterias.


The poorly executed AIDS awareness lunchbox

Good cause, poor execution.


The Benson lunchbox

We have a few readers who actually would have loved this one.



Will September 10, 2012 at 10:59 am

Look at the rack on Maude!

I would totally love a Benson lunchbox, especially if Krause is on the thermos.

Speaking of the Thermos, is the Ron Jeremy one standard size? It’s not covered in hair, right?

ShezCrafti September 10, 2012 at 12:40 pm

I’m only interested in the Ron Jeremy lunch box if it comes complete with a cock-shaped Thermos.

I like how well Stephen Hawking’s permanent look of helplessness/ambivalence lends itself to the familiar question of “What disappointing items did Mom pack me for lunch today?”

Howie Decker September 10, 2012 at 3:10 pm

This is the funniest comment I have read in a long time. Both parts. Bravo.

Jason aka SockofFleagulls September 10, 2012 at 4:00 pm

So according to ShezCrafti’s reasoning I guess my Maude lunchbox would come with two Thermoses…

Howie Decker September 11, 2012 at 11:27 am


ShezCrafti September 11, 2012 at 2:15 pm

More like two Capri Suns.

Jason aka SockofFleagulls September 11, 2012 at 12:41 am

Like Howie needed another reason to get his rocks off on Bea Authur…

Howie Decker September 11, 2012 at 11:27 am

That particular lunch box did make me horny.. I mean hungry!

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