Australian Carports & Garages – Clothing Optional

by Howie Decker @HowardTheDeck on May 16, 2012

in Funny

Obviously you didn’t need to be wearing clothes to sell garages, sheds and carports in 1986.

Especially with so many convenient locations!

See below for what must be a factually correct account of the making of this commercial.

Here’s my take on how this whole thing must have gone down:

Guy (presumably Mr. Wyten) calls a local cut-rate talent agency to inquire about some affordable eye candy to cast in his new garage & carport commercial. Hey, why not? Sex sells. (I’m not sure how it can sell a free standing carport, but Mr. Wyten didn’t get to be King of his own Australian aluminum shed empire by not taking chances.)

The only reason I figure this ad is Australian is because I Googled some of the town locations mentioned and they all seem to be located down under. I should have known when one of the signs said “Great Outback Verandah”, although I’ve been trained to recognize that most things labeled “Outback” are far from authentic Australian.

So Mr. Wyten places a call to the talent agency, and to his dismay the hourly rate for a couple of mid-grade shed models is a little out of his price range. Worry not, this ol’ bloke has a beaut of an idea – why not go down to the local beach and find a couple of Sheilas who are looking to get their big break in show business by posing in their swimming costumes?

Done.

Wait.

Mr Wyten’s got another idea.

Sure, trotting out a couple of corkers in bikinis is a great way to captivate the male demographic, as this TV spot will surely have the viewers “crackin’ a fat” – but what about the ladies?

There MUST be a huge portion of the female Australian population who are silently clamoring for more information about efficient and affordable garages and carports. What about them? How to we capture their attention?

A shirtless dude.

Not just any dude, but Mr. Wyten himself.

Time to nude up for the carports.

…and scene! It’s a wrap. 25 years later, and we’re still blogging about it. Clearly the best TV spot for Australian carports ever made.

 

 

Howie Decker is the co-creator and editor of UnderScoopFIRE.com. He likes fantasy baseball & taco night. His family & friends’ support for & contributions to his personal blog The Upper Deck were his inspiration to assemble this site. You can read his “Letter from the Editor” here.

 

Clarence from RHM April 16, 2012 at 7:01 pm

That was…something. The scientific evidence to prove that Mr. Wyten must “balance” out the ladies must have been interesting.

Howie Decker April 16, 2012 at 8:24 pm

I’m fairly certain that’s exactly how it went down.

Brian Morin April 16, 2012 at 7:36 pm

This post was great. I laughed so hard that I had to show my wife. She didn’t laugh. Much. Of course, she only finds half of my jokes funny. I think there might be something wrong with her.

Howie Decker April 16, 2012 at 8:23 pm

My wife wouldn’t laugh at it either, which is why I wouldn’t show her. I’ve made that mistake before.

Engineernerd April 16, 2012 at 8:55 pm

This reminds me of the orange juice commercial in Eurotrip.

Jozeph Wyten September 6, 2013 at 6:16 pm

well you got it half right, the only thing was the dude in the commercial was not
Mr.Wyten. he was a basketball player that one of the local teams had shipped over from the states that had made a name for himself.

Hail Mary September 6, 2013 at 6:38 pm

I want to believe that this comment is from the real Mr. Wyten (or a family member) so badly!

Howard Decker September 6, 2013 at 10:31 pm

If it is I kinda feel bad now! Just havin some fun sir! 🙂

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