Apoca-LIST | 7 Smurfs You Want on Your Side in Case of Apocalypse

Post image for Apoca-LIST | 7 Smurfs You Want on Your Side in Case of Apocalypse

by Brian Morin

in Lists, The 80s

Welcome to the first edition of Apoca-LIST, a weekly rundown of pop culture and entertainment characters that you’d want on your side in the event of a global apocalypse.

Standing only “three apples high”, living in the woods and accustomed to running for their lives on a regular basis, the Smurfs are more prepared for the apocalypse than any other cartoon characters. Here are the six particular Smurfs you want on your side in case of a global plague/outbreak/attack:

Hefty Smurf

hefty smurf

No thanks, apocalypse. We’re all set.

Whether the apocalypse is due to an alien invasion, zombie outbreak, or a comet hitting the Earth, you’re sure to need the Smurf equivalent of Superman on your side.

 

Greedy Smurf

greedy smurf_opt

Any fan of apocalypse stories knows that one of the scarcest commodities in the post-apocalyptic wasteland is food. Who better to have on your side than the serial hoarder, Greedy Smurf. He’s sure to have a huge stockpile of non-perishable canned Smurfberries in that mushroom house of his. And when you run out- eat the house!

 

Handy Smurf

handy smurf_opt

When the world ends, survivors are going to need someone who can build things. Whether it’s weapons, shelter, or makeshift nuclear power plants, Handy is your guy.

 

Doctor Smurf

Doctor_Smurf_opt

As any fan of The Walking Dead knows, when living in close quarters with other impoverished survivors, an outbreak of disease is inevitable. It would certainly be helpful to have a doctor around.

 

Clockwork Smurf

handy clockwork smurf_opt

A mechanical Smurf that can take “the work out of work”, Handy’s creation would be an invaluable (and unkillable) ally in the event of an apocalypse. You could send him out on missions with no fear of death by zombie, disease or weather. Bonus: on a cold night, you can burn his non-essential appendages for warmth.

 

Hunter Smurf

Hunter smurf
Smurfberries? Claimed.

Because every group of survivors needs a Daryl Dixon.

 

Papa Smurf

papa smurf mad
“Everybody chill the Smurf out. I got this.”

The unquestioned leader and the smartest of the Smurfs. He was the only Smurf who was able to solve the Purple Smurf epidemic, although his cure almost didn’t work. In keeping with the Walking Dead theme, consider him your Herschel Smurf.

images via BlueBuddies, Smurfs Wiki

READ ALSO: The 5 Creepiest Episodes of The Smurfs

Brian Morin (@bmorin54) is a fan of anything 80s. He hosted an 80s themed radio show while in college which justified his library of over 250 eighties CDs, and currently co-hosts The Walking Dads, a Walking Dead-themed podcast.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Jason G April 9, 2014 at 10:30 am

Nicely done, Hail Mary. Love this list idea…

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HamatoKameko April 26, 2017 at 9:40 pm

I know I’m late to this party, but I sure as heck wouldn’t want Doctor Smurf on my team! Doctor is known to be a, well, quack, usually bringing more harm than good. And besides, Papa can handle most medical issues with his vast magical knowledge. 😉

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