Not all toys from the 80s and 90s bring back fond memories. For every Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle or Transformers action figure, there were some seriously questionable toys that make us wonder: “What were they thinking?” While nostalgia has brought many beloved toys back, some childhood relics are better left in the past. Here’s a roundup of 80s and 90s toys that, for one reason or another, no one is clamoring to see revived.
1. Creepy Crawlers
At first glance, Creepy Crawlers seemed like a fun way for kids to make squishy, bug-shaped rubber toys. But the reality of baking toxic goop in a mini oven was more problematic than playful. The kit involved pouring Plastigoop into metal molds and heating them to high temperatures, which was a recipe for burns and accidents.
While the allure of making your own fake bugs was undeniable, the dangers of using what was essentially a “junior chemistry lab” without parental supervision didn’t age well. With safer DIY craft kits available today, the return of Creepy Crawlers seems both unnecessary and unsafe.
2. Pogs
Ah, Pogs—those little cardboard discs that swept through playgrounds in the 90s. The idea was simple: collect, stack, and “slam” them in a game of skill. However, the craze was short-lived, mostly because Pogs were more about collecting than actual gameplay. Let’s face it—smashing tiny cardboard circles with a heavier slammer wasn’t the pinnacle of excitement.
Kids in the 90s were obsessed, but the fascination quickly faded once everyone realized how basic and repetitive the game was. With today’s interactive digital games and creative toys, Pogs would probably feel more like a chore than a thrilling pastime. There’s a reason they haven’t made a major comeback.
3. Water Weenies
Water Weenies were an odd mix of fun and frustration. These rubber tubes filled with water were intended to be tossed around like water balloons but often ended up as a messy disaster. The problem? They were unpredictable, prone to breaking, and had the unfortunate habit of slipping out of your hands at the wrong moment.
Beyond their weird, tubular design, Water Weenies were notorious for causing minor injuries and making a huge mess. With more exciting and less hazardous water toys around today (looking at you, Super Soakers), there’s little chance anyone’s looking to bring these back.
4. Boglins
Marketed as “outrageous creatures that come alive in your hands,” Boglins were rubbery, grotesque puppets that crawled out of the late 80s to become a strange niche of the toy world. These slimy, bug-eyed monsters were designed to look creepy, and they succeeded in being just that—too creepy for most kids.
While Boglins have a cult following today, their unsettling appearance and limited playability make them a hard sell for a broader audience. Parents weren’t too keen on these gross little guys then, and it’s safe to say they wouldn’t want to see them lurking on toy shelves again.
5. Sky Dancers
On paper, Sky Dancers were a magical idea: ballerina-like dolls that flew through the air when launched from a pull-string base. In practice, they became a safety hazard. These spinning dolls had a bad habit of veering off course and hitting kids in the face, causing injuries from the unexpected high-speed collisions.
While they had a brief moment of popularity in the mid-90s, Sky Dancers became infamous for causing everything from bruises to broken windows. Their tendency to create chaos led to them being recalled, and no one’s in a rush to revisit the airborne anarchy they caused.
6. Talkboy
Made famous by Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, the Talkboy was a tape recorder designed for kids to pull pranks and record funny messages. The problem? It didn’t work nearly as well as it did in the movie. The audio quality was terrible, and the novelty wore off quickly when kids realized they could barely hear the recordings.
In a world dominated by smartphones and voice recording apps, the Talkboy feels like a technological relic. Sure, it had its moment in pop culture, but trying to revive a device that’s been surpassed by every modern gadget seems like a futile exercise.
7. Sock’em Boppers
Remember Sock’em Boppers? These inflatable boxing gloves were marketed as a safe way for kids to blow off steam and playfully punch their friends. In reality, they often led to full-blown fights and injuries. The soft plastic exterior didn’t do much to stop kids from going overboard, turning a friendly bout into a knockdown drag-out.
With parents more aware of the dangers of rough play and the risk of concussions, toys that encourage kids to hit each other aren’t exactly in high demand. Sock’em Boppers are best left as a 90s curiosity that didn’t exactly promote safe fun.
8. Gak
Nickelodeon’s Gak was the ultimate gross-out toy—an oozy, stretchy slime that made fart noises when you squeezed it. While kids found it hilarious, parents weren’t so amused. Gak had an uncanny ability to stick to everything—carpet, clothes, hair—and once it dried, good luck cleaning it up.
With better, less messy slime alternatives available today, no one’s eager to bring back Gak and its sticky, stain-prone chaos. It was fun while it lasted, but parents probably have traumatic memories of trying to scrub it out of the couch cushions.
9. Baby Alive (80s Version)
While Baby Alive dolls have been modernized over the years, the original 80s version was more than a little disturbing. This doll was designed to “eat” and “poop,” but the mechanics were far from realistic. The food paste would often get stuck in the doll’s mouth, leading to a gross, crusty mess. Worse, the doll’s excretions had a tendency to leak, making cleanup an unwelcome part of playtime.
While the concept of a doll that mimics real-life functions might still appeal to kids, the original Baby Alive was more trouble than it was worth. Parents were often left to deal with clogged feeding tubes and dried-up fake food. No one’s asking for a revival of this particular version.
10. Stretch Armstrong
Stretch Armstrong was an action figure with a unique twist—literally. You could stretch his rubbery limbs to ridiculous lengths and watch them snap back into place. While he was a novel toy at the time, the excitement quickly faded as kids realized there wasn’t much else to do with him.
Worse, Stretch Armstrong was prone to breaking, with his gooey insides leaking out after too much wear and tear. Today’s kids, spoiled by more interactive and imaginative toys, wouldn’t find much joy in stretching a glorified rubber band to its breaking point.
Some Toys Are Best Left in the Past
While nostalgia is powerful, not every 80s or 90s toy deserves a second life. Many of these toys were fun in their day, but in hindsight, they were either dangerous, impractical, or just plain weird. We can look back fondly on the good times we had with them—but maybe leave them in the toy vault of history.
Do you have any childhood toys that you’re glad are long gone? Or maybe some you wish would stay buried?
