The 50 Funniest Women of All Time (#10 – 1)

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| 50-41 | 40-31 | 30-21 | 20-11 | 10-1 |

10. Betty White

Highest individual rank: #1 (eclectik)

“I’ve always liked older men. They’re just more attractive to me. Of course, at my age there aren’t that many left.”

9. Bea Arthur

Highest individual rank: #4 (Howie Decker, Chris Tanski)

“After being in the business for such a long time, I’ve done everything but rodeo and porno.”

8. Carol Burnett

Highest individual rank: #2 (Chris Tanski)

“Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.”

7. Sarah Silverman

Highest individual rank: #1 (Howie Decker)

“I always think I should get on it if I want to have kids. Because once you hit thirty it can be difficult to conceive — it can be dangerous. The best time to conceive is when you’re a black teenager.”

6. Ellen DeGeneres

Highest individual rank: #2 (Howie Decker)

“Yes, we’re lazy. Yet we also can’t seem to sit still. So we’ve started making things like GO-GURT. That’s yogurt for people on the go. Let me ask you, was there a big mobility problem with yogurt before? How time-consuming was it, really? [pretending to be on the phone:] ‘Hello?…Oh, hi, Tom…oh, I’ve been dying to see that movie…Umm, no…I just opened up some yogurt…Yeah, I’m in for the night…No, not even later-it’s the kind with fruit on the bottom. Well, have fun. Thanks anyway.'”

5. Jane Lynch

Highest individual rank: #2 (Sarah Beattie)

[Looking at fellow Roseanne Barr roasters:] “This show is serving up more old spoiled hens than a Chick Fil-A. Oh, that reminds me… Fuck Chick Fil-A.”

4. Tina Fey

Highest individual rank: #2 (Corey Chapman)

“A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.”

3. Roseanne Barr

Highest individual rank: #1 (Sarah Beattie)

“People say to me, ‘You’re not feminine.’ Well, they can just suck my dick.”

2. Kristen Wiig

Highest individual rank: #1 (Corey Chapman)

“Don’t make me sing.”

1. Lucille Ball

Highest individual rank: #1 (Will West, Chris Tanski)

“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”