One of the finest traditions in all of sports entertainment happens next week in Philadelphia, home of the cheese steak and Santa hate. 30 men (probably) will clash in timed intervals, with the winner going on to face the WWE World Heavyweight Champion at the ‘Granddaddy of Them All’, Wrestlemania. Of course, with those 30 entrants, we’re always giddy to get some returning superstars or mystery entrants in the event, and here’s the five we’d like to see (but might not. OK, in some cases, definitely won’t).
Honorable Mentions: Shelton Benjamin, The Undertaker, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Adrian Neville, Carlito, Hulk Hogan
Enzo Amore & Big Cass
“My name is Enzo Amore, and I’m a Bonafide G, and a Certified Stud. And you can’t. Teach. That. And this right heah? This is Big Cass, and he’s seven feet tall. And you can’t. Teach. That. Bada boom! Realest guys in the room! HOW YOU DOIN’?!?”
Just picture that – the clock ticks down, and signature Italian guitar hits, followed by the greatest of wub wubdrops, and out comes Big Cass to make his main roster debut, with the Mouthpiece Mosquito, the SmacktalkerSkywalker jawing the entire way down the ramp. I don’t care if you get Cass and Enzo out of there in 10 seconds – they’ll have made their mark, proving that they are, most assuredly, not – S.A.W.F.T. SAWWWWWWWWWFT!
Zack Ryder
It’s been an up and down (mostly down) couple of years for Long Island Iced Z. In 2012, Zack won the US Title, but almost immediately dropped it for absolutely no reason. He’s been sidelined with bad creative usage, no direction, and this year, a major injury. But, just a few days ago, Zack tweeted that he’s back in the ring for the first time in months at the Performance Center. Sure, it’s probably foolish hope that the Broski is going to be ring ready for the Rumble, but a guy can dream.
I’d love to see him make his return and immediately start feuding with Bad News Barrett for taking his friend Dolph Ziggler’s Intercontinental Championship.
CM Punk
Yeah, moving right along…
Finn Balor
The former Prince Devitt has been honing his craft down in NXT for a few months, but there’s no one in Florida more ready for the main roster than Finn Balor. He’s charismatic, high flying, powerful, and ring savvy – all qualities you need to be a believable entrant into the Rumble. Some might argue that he’s better suited to debut at ‘Mania, but I’d love to see him make his entrance at the Rumble, body painted like a monster, ready to kick the heads off of opponents.
Bubba Ray Dudley
Of all of the wrestlers listed above, this one to me has the most potential. He’s no longer with TNA. He’s in the best shape of his life, an established singles superstar, and a character the WWE Universe desperately wants back in the fold. On top of that, he’d immediately be a main event level heel, with rumors of Brock Lesnar returning to MMA after Wrestlemania.
The Royal Rumble is in Philadelphia, Bubba’s stomping grounds for years with ECW, and he’s strong enough a wrestler that he wouldn’t need to win, only to eliminate a few fan favorites to really turn the immediate cheers he’d get upon his return into screaming, frothing boos. Bubba Ray Dudley would absolutely destroy as the late 20s mystery entrant.
Jay Malone (@JCorduroy) once lived in a cupboard under the stairs, has been to a galaxy far, far, away (Chicago), and frequently fights off bouts of boredom by rolling dice and pretending to be someone else. His dog looks like Stitch, and his 6 year old son was named after a Latverian dictator…just don’t tell his wife.
You botched Enzo’s catchphrase!!!!
Got me.
Of course, you probably could have called me on this when it was published 18 months ago, but who am I to judge? Also, you botched your website since that leads to a domain that’s for sale. How you doin’? 😉