A Show That Has To Go: ‘Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D/Tuesdays at 8:00PM EST on ABC  

It pains me to write this. Really. I was as excited as I was surprised when I first learned about the series, and ultimately thought it a no-brainer. The Avengers killed at the box office, as well as delivered the goods on every level and, furthermore, Clark Gregg had already proven himself TV-friendly, what with all those years over at CBS doing The New Adventures of Old Christine.

I am a Marvel Comics lifer, with a comic book collection I’m proud of, every feature film on DVD (even Ghost Rider!) and, what’s more, those features have mostly exceeded my expectations. We’re talking lofty expectations too.

The sad fact is S.H.I.E.L.D. just isn’t bringing it. Even worse, it always feels like it’s just about to. C’mon, you know you’re in agreement.

Its debut episode broke ratings records, which came as a surprise to exactly no one, from comic book geeks like myself to folks far removed from that world but aware of recent box office returns and rave Robert Downey Jr. reviews. Coulson being alive, ostensibly, was to play out in a Twin Peaks capacity, the specifics of his surviving death at the hands of Loki in the Avengers film slowly unraveling as his motley crew of agents bonded over each adventure. Sadly, the Coulson mystery induced shoulder shrugs after maybe three episodes and the so-called “adventures” proved muddled and lackluster. Ming-Na Wen, another TV veteran, as the ornery yet hot lead of this band of merry Marvel heroes bit off far more than she could chew and also elicits shoulder-shrugging.

As my 7-year-old succinctly puts it: “They talk too much.” Yes, they can certainly turn up the action. Alas, that would only be a start.

I need someone in a mask and cape. I need a guest appearance from, like, Nova or Namor (not some throwaway cameo from a secondary character in the Thor franchise). I need…we need…and deserve…so much more than this.

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Vinnie Penn (@VinniePenn) first hit the airwaves as co-host to Glenn Beck. By 2001 he was a regular on Howard Stern, and his work has appeared in national magazines such as Maxim, Hit Parader, and Cracked. He currently writes for MSN. Visit his website VinniePenn.net.