13 New Fall Shows That Will Be Cancelled by Christmas

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by Corey Chapman @chapmanrunner

in Mr. Serious, Television

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Red Band Society (Wednesday 9pm Fox)

Set in the children’s ward of a Los Angeles hospital (and narrated by a kid who’s in a coma), Red Band Society is a coming-of-age drama that follows a Breakfast Club -esque group of patients as they such face life-changing (and life-threatening) challenges as cancer and heart defects. Griffin Gluck, Zoe Levin, Charlie Rowe, Astro, Ciara Bravo, and Nolan Sotillo star as the young protagonists, while Dave Annable, Rebecca Rittenhouse, and Octavia Spencer take on the adult roles of the doctors and nurses who mentor them through the ups and downs of adolescence.

red-band-society show

Octavia Spencer would have been better off in the Murder, She Wrote reboot she was set to star in, even though Angela Lansbury was trying to c*** block it.

GONE BY: National Crabmeat Day (March 9th)

 

Selfie (Tuesday 8pm ABC)

Karen Gillan (Doctor Who) drops her adorable Scottish accent to star in this modern spin on Pygmalion that takes place in today’s social media-driven world. Gillan’s Eliza Dooley is obsessed with becoming Internet famous, but her constant Instagramming and Facebooking has left her devoid of any real friends — not to mention the social skills required to make any. Desperate for a fix, Eliza hires marketer Henry Higenbottam (John Cho) to help her rebuild her image and put down her damn phone for once.

selfie show

If this is a hit, I may lose faith in all humanity. I am sure by the end of the third episode that we learn social media is bad, and we must put down our mobile devices and go out and experience the world. I am okay with that. I just can’t get behind a show called “Selfie.” If this is a hit, Fox is going to greenlight “YOLO”, a mid-season replacement about a group of teens testing their limits in extreme sports. Dan Cortese will star as their mentor.

GONE BY: National Ding a Ling Day (December 12th)

Forever (Tuesday 10pm ABC)

Ioan Gruffudd stars as New York City medical examiner Henry Morgan, who harbors an unusual secret —he can’t die. Working alongside his new partner, Det. Jo Martinez (Alana De La Garza), Morgan studies the dead in an effort to discover the mystery of his own immortality. Also, the ladies in the crowd might want to take note: When Morgan dies (and he dies semi-often for some reason), he always comes back naked. Judd Hirsch, Donnie Keshawarz, and Joel David Moore also star.

forever show

The jury is still out on whether or not American audiences like Gruffudd, the UK actor best known for (the last two) Fantastic Four movies. He also starred with Sarah Michelle Gellar in the CW drama Ringer, which only lasted one season. It does have a nice lead in with Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the 10pm competition isn’t that scary, with interchangeable dramas Person of Interest and Chicago Fire. It may come down to whether or not Gruffudd can carry the load. If not, this might be the first one axed.

GONE BY: National Roast Leg of Lamb Day (May 7th)

 

Cristela (Friday 8pm ABC) *debuts October 10th

Loosely based on comedienne Cristela Alonzo’s life and stand-up routine, this family sitcom opens as the title character enters her sixth year of law school and takes on an unpaid internship at a law firm where she’s frequently mistaken for the help. As she works to get her life and career started, she must also deal with her traditional Mexican-American family, who struggles to understand her ambitions. Carlos Ponce, Terri Hoyos, Andrew Leeds, Sam McMurray, and Jacob Guenther also star.

cristela

Back to the Friday discussion- is there much hope for a show to catch on when it’s dumped onto the Friday night schedule? It’s one thing to cross your fingers for a 10pm drama, possibly pulling in the older crowd, but a sitcom? That’s like saying, “We thought we had a home for you earlier in the week, but we don’t. Rent, don’t buy!” No chance!

GONE BY: National Public Sleeping Day (February 28th)

 

Stalker (Wednesday 9pm CBS)

This violent and shocking thriller from The Following’s Kevin Williamson has already drawn plenty of pre-air criticism, and with good reason. It follows a division of the LAPD that deals with stalkers, voyeurs, and love-obsessed weirdos who target mostly women, often with deadly results. Maggie Q and Dylan McDermott star as our law enforcement heroes who may be more complicated than they seem.

stalker show cbs

Look at me betting against CBS again! I like my odds. This is the type of show that may have difficulty finding an audience. Some of the early reviews say the subject matter is quite intense, and may turn viewers off. The time slot is wide open though, only facing off against Nashville and Chicago PD, so it’s got that going for it.

GONE BY: National Hug a Newsman Day (April 4th)

 

State of Affairs (Monday 10pm NBC)

Former Grey’s Anatomy star Katherine Heigl is making her grand return to television, whether you want her to or not. In this political drama, she plays a top CIA attache who’s tasked with one heck of a job: put together a briefing for the president (Alfre Woodard) to assess the greatest threats to national security. And just in case that doesn’t sound stressful enough, she spends what little free time she has hunting down the terrorists who killed her fiancé, who also happened to be the president’s son.

state of affairs show

Katherine Heigl is back on TV? Didn’t she want to be a movie star? I wish her well, but this looks like a mess of a show and I doubt her Greys fans will welcome her back with open arms.

GONE BY: National Jerky Day (June 12th)

UPDATE: Now that Christmas 2014 has come and gone, see how we did with these predictions!

Mr. Serious (@chapmanrunner) has been selling his whole life, nowadays he happens to get paid for doing it. His long term goal is to retire young and spend his days watching old episodes of Saturday Night Live and tweeting about “the good old days”. He produces and edits the UnderScoopFire Podcast.

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{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }

Kevin Hellions September 9, 2014 at 1:38 am

There is a preview episode of Selfie up on Hulu. Its awful. The only way it lasts is if Karen gets stripped down every episode. Already happened in the pilot.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 7:34 am

IT looks terrible. Better you sitting through it, than me Kevin! Thanks for reading and commenting! #teamhellions

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Jaina September 9, 2014 at 4:30 am

Network TV, failing all over the place. Hopelessly out of the loop when it comes to new Network TV, but by the looks of things, I’m not missing out on much.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 7:33 am

“Network TV, failing all over the place.” sounds like the beginning of a great poem! Thanks for reading and commenting Jaina!

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Dex September 9, 2014 at 7:50 am

“A loud-mouthed, sports-crazy Boston family (redundant?)”
Stereotypical, not redundant. I’m from the Boston area and couldn’t give two hoots about any of the sports.

I haven’t heard of most of these, and that’s probably a good thing. I know the Mrs will want to watch the Messing show. I will watch Karen Gillan do anything, I just don’t think Cho is the right person to pair her with (not that the show looks great or anything).

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 7:53 am

Let us know how bad The Chronicles, er, The Trials, um, The Mysteries of Laura is. I wont be watching. Thanks for your USF loyalty Dex, and thanks for the comments!

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Matthew Robert Joubert September 9, 2014 at 10:43 am

These shows all look terrible, I think the networks want to fail now as it’s just bad TV. oh well, I will stick to my Netflix.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 10:58 am

Thanks for the comments Matthew! I agree. That Netflix business model looks pretty good these days- fewer shows, higher quality, binge ready!

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HowardTheDeck September 9, 2014 at 11:08 am

There is not one of these shows that I plan to check out. I guess that frees up more time to actually spend with my family. Huh. Novel idea.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 11:55 am

Tune in later this week for the New Shows That Will Make it to Season Two. Some real gems in there!

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ScarletRegina September 10, 2014 at 11:53 am

The only one that I’ll be watching is Constantine. I did watch the Selfie pilot on Hulu and I’m pretty sure it made my brain bleed, so I won’t be sticking around for future episodes.

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Jay Malone September 9, 2014 at 2:17 pm

I’ve got $20 on Selfie and Constantine completing their seasons, and at least 1 of them getting a season 2 pickup.

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Jay Malone September 9, 2014 at 2:19 pm

For clarity, I don’t plan on watching Selfie. But it’ll stick for at least 1 year. Never underestimate the power of teenage and early 20’s women in numbers watching TV.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 2:59 pm

Jay, is Vegas taking bets? Cause I will hop on a plane tonight and bet against John Cho! (Do they takes bets as low as $4?)

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Jay Malone September 9, 2014 at 3:01 pm

I’m in for a $4 bet on Selfie making it the whole season. Gentlemans agreement?

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 3:32 pm

And the loser has to post a selfie of them Paypal’ing the $4!!!

Sara Edmonds October 21, 2014 at 5:36 am

Selfie isn’t as vapid as I thought it would be by the title.

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Jay Malone November 5, 2014 at 10:30 am

Agreed! It’s certainly not stellar, but it’s a hell of a lot better than I’d expected.

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ScarletRegina September 9, 2014 at 2:20 pm

I think Constantine will survive. NBC had success with Grimm on Friday nights and they’ve kept Hannibal around.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 2:58 pm

Lets split the difference- Constantine gets cancelled by NBC, then picked up by comic book champion CW and lives for 8 more seasons!

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ScarletRegina September 9, 2014 at 4:40 pm

But then it will be Constantine with love triangles of DOOM! The CW can’t get away from those.

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Jason G September 9, 2014 at 4:15 pm

As Howie mentioned, I’m all-out (opposite of all-in, nevermind) when it comes to these network shows.

Something about new shows released with a full season on streaming or cable that is more intruiging than investing in a network show that could get canceled anytime. I think if the networks took bolder moves on a few shows up front more like streaming, they could win some viewers back. Until then, I’ll wait until a show makes it before I watch.

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bmorin54 September 9, 2014 at 4:39 pm

Agreed. I think I’ll just stick with my regular shows and maybe read a little bit more. Not one show on this list sounds even the least bit interesting. I think you made some solid picks Corey.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 6:18 pm

thanks Brian- its always a crap shoot. This annual post is fun to do, especially interacting with those passionate about a show that hasnt aired yet!

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 6:17 pm

I am going to take credit for your vision Jason. I have championed binge watching/streaming television for quite sometime. Glad you are on board.

PS. We are the reason network television is struggling.

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Jason G September 12, 2014 at 10:34 am

It was definitely influenced by you Corey and my lack of faith in any continuous storyline show since Lost. I tell you, waiting for the entire Breaking Bad series to appear on Netflix before I watched took alot of patience and some serious spoiler avoidance in my daily RSS feed.

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Mr. Serious September 12, 2014 at 10:45 am

you deserve a medal for waiting on the ENTIRE Breaking Bad series to get to Netflix!!!

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@eclectik September 9, 2014 at 5:05 pm

How DARE you besmirch ANY Bebe Neuwirth vehicle!?
If Stalker subject matter is too much for viewers, those viewers are Douche Burglars
YOLO line was great
I like the twist of the great national holidays
… Ive already posted what Im watching

…and The Goldbergs blow.

Good Post.

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Sara Edmonds October 21, 2014 at 5:37 am

Yolo= carpe diem for morons.

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Clarence September 9, 2014 at 5:31 pm

I think Constantine, How to Get Away…, & Madam Secretary will last a full season. They’re on safe time slots/networks.

Manhattan Love Story seems pointless from the preview I saw months ago.

The other NBC dramas: I’ve no clue since I’ve lost faith in NBC to make a popular show on the rise & Parks and Rec will be the only show I’ll watch there this season.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 6:13 pm

A lot of folks are still down on NBC. I know I miss the glory days of Cosby, Seinfeld, and Friends. Thank for reading and commenting, Clarence!

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@eclectik September 10, 2014 at 5:34 am

Waiting on the new FOX sitcom “Leaked Nudes” to debut

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Mr. Serious September 10, 2014 at 8:19 am

the actual title is “Jill Scott Presents: “Leaked Nudes Or How I Learned to Love The Cloud”

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Matt September 23, 2014 at 2:31 pm

The decision to “convert a well received feature film into a television series 9 YEARS LATER” might have been based on the fact that the Keanu Reeves film was awful and a TV series is probably a much better format for the Hellblazer comic book.
It presumably isn’t a “conversion of the film” but more likely just another adaptation of a comic which has been around since the 80s.

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whocares October 7, 2014 at 4:38 am

Shonda Rhimes already had a failure with “Off The Map” a couple of years ago.

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Ayelen October 10, 2014 at 10:13 pm

So Fox is gonna make an American version of Polseras Vermelles and call it “Red Band Society”? I hope they at least follow the plot from the original series and keep some ideas… But knowing Fox, a lot of good material from PV will be discarded.

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Thomas Wiley October 19, 2014 at 11:32 pm

Funny how this article is based on never seeing the shows

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Kneo October 24, 2014 at 11:22 pm

“13 New Fall Shows That Will Be Cancelled by Christmas”…

Forever = “GONE BY: National Roast Leg of Lamb Day (May 7th)”…

Did we move May 7th somewhere between November and December???

Just sayin’

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luke whitmer October 27, 2014 at 11:07 pm

how to get away with murder and selfie are actually pretty damn good shows and this is coming from a guy who blogs about tv shows.

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Jerboaki November 14, 2014 at 3:38 pm

I have to agree with most people on Constantine. Who ever cast Matt Ryan deserves an award, and a raise. He is spot on. This is the Constantine I was hoping to see, and didn’t get, with Keanu Reeves. This version of Constantine is much closer to the Hellblazer I loved.

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HowardTheDeck September 9, 2014 at 3:39 pm

Love it. I will broker this deal, and only take a .04 cut for my handling fee.

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Jay Malone September 9, 2014 at 3:47 pm

Done and done!

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