13 New Fall Shows That Will Be Cancelled by Christmas

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by Corey Chapman @chapmanrunner

in Mr. Serious, Television


 

UPDATE: Now that Christmas 2014 has come and gone, click here to see how we did with these predictions!


 

This time last year, I made some predictions as to which new fall shows would be cancelled by Christmas, and what virgin network series would earn a second season. Not having access to screeners like the big time television critics do, I relied on plot synopsis, advanced pilot previews, and my own instincts to make my picks. Although I missed on some, I successfully sniffed out most of the stinkers in the 2013 rookie lineup. Of the ten shows I predicted to get cancelled, only Sleepy Hollow and The Goldbergs made it to a sophomore season.

This year I am upping the doomed series number to thirteen and although the title of this post is catchy, not all thirteen will be gone by Jesus’ Birthday. More accurately, my prediction is that NONE of these shows will make it to a second season- but I do try to guess the death date as closely as possible, and line it up with some obscure American holidays.

Just like last year, show summaries (in italics) are brought to you by TVGuide:

Bad Judge (Thursday 9pm, NBC)

This single-camera comedy stars Kate Walsh (Private Practice, Fargo) as Rebecca Wright, one of L.A.’s most respected criminal court judges. But here’s the catch: While Rebecca totally and completely has it together in her work life, her personal life is the exact definition of a hot mess. She’s flaky, she sleeps around without a care in the world, and she parties like she’s still in college (so we’re guessing she has the world’s worst hangovers).

bad judge nbc

I want to like Kate Walsh. I really do. By all accounts she has had a nice, just below the radar television career with Greys Anatomy, then leading Private Practice, and a supporting role in the critical darling Fargo. Then I see the preview for Bad Judge and wonder if she bumped her head or The Peacock just offered too much money to turn down. It looks like a tired take on the “Bad” films (Bad Santa, Bad Teacher) and I can’t see even a desperate NBC giving this show more than 22 episodes.

GONE BY: National American Beer Day (Oct. 27th)

 

Constantine (Friday 10pm NBC) * debuting October 24th

One of many comic book adaptations this season, Constantine is based on the DC Comics series Hellblazer. Welsh actor Matt Ryan stars as the titular John Constantine, a seasoned demon hunter and master of the occult who abandoned his campaign against evil after failing to save a young girl’s soul from hell. However, he’s pulled back into the fight when the balance between good and evil somehow winds up on the line and an angel named Manny (Lost’s Harold Perrineau) tells him to man up and get his act together. True Detective’s Charles Halford also stars.

constantine show

A few things bother me about this adaptation:

  1. Friday nights on TV are like the January of the film industry. Thats where you put the projects you dont trust. If they are successful, you look like a genius (and in television, you either build around it or move it to a stronger night). If the show tanks, no one bats an eyelash (see Dracula, RIP 2013).
  2. Why try to convert a well received feature film into a television series 9 YEARS LATER? Does anyone even remember the Keanu Reeves-Rachel Weitz flick?

I think I would give this a chance for multiple seasons if it aired on The CW. NBC? No way.

GONE BY: National Chicken Soup For The Soul Day (November 12th)

 

How To Get Away With Murder (Thursday 9pm, ABC)

Shonda Rhimes continues her push toward world domination with this legal thriller, which stars Viola Davis as a serious-as-the-death-penalty law school professor whose attractive students vie for her approval and a desk at her prestigious law firm. But their biggest lessons are learned outside the classroom, when they get caught up in a murder plot and, presumably, must figure out how to get away with it. Expect Scandal-sized twists and Grey’s-like drama!

abc how to get away with murder

Be careful doing a web search for this show, lest you want to keep the IT Dept/FBI off your back

Sounds like a neat idea for a mini-series, but will it be able to build an audience over the course of a season? My guess is this is Rhimes’ first miss, and Viola Davis is back to making movies sooner than she expected.

GONE BY: National Random Acts of Kindness Day (February 17th)

 

Madam Secretary (Sunday 8pm, CBS)

Tea Leoni plays a former CIA agent whose former boss, now the president of the United States (Keith Carradine), asks her to take on the role of Secretary of State after an accident claims the life of the office’s previous occupant. Using her no-nonsense, unconventional attitude toward politics, she shakes things up in Washington, D.C. while also juggling her home life as a wife and a mother. Tim Daly and Bebe Neuwirth also star.

madam secretary show

I am going against conventional wisdom here, because apparently CBS CAN DO NO WRONG with the Nielsens. I remember a time when CBS would finish third out of four networks and be excited about it! Now they are a world power that can produce what seems like 15 NCIS’ (isn’t there a new one this season taking place in Sheboygan?) and still dominate the ratings in both comedy and dramas. Well good for you! Sometimes the champ needs to be knocked down a peg, and we are going to use this Tea Leoni vehicle to do it. Sorry Tea, nothing personal- it just sounds like this show is gonna blow.

GONE BY: National Sardines Day (November 24th)

 

Manhattan Love Story (Thursday 8pm ABC)

This new comedy uses the power of voice over to broadcast the internal monologues of a New York City dude (Jake McDorman) and a Midwestern transplant chick (Analeigh Tipton) as they navigate an awkward first date and subsequent budding romance. What you’ll learn early on from the voices in their heads is that guys like sex and women like purses; but as the series — and their relationship &mdash ;progresses, we expect things will get a bit more complicated than that.

manhattan love story show

Good storytelling should not have to rely on a voiceover, let alone two. Don’t worry Analeigh, even though this show won’t work, I predict a bright future for you.

GONE BY: National Hermit Day (October 29th)

 

The McCarthys (Thursday 9pm CBS) * debuts October 30th

A loud-mouthed, sports-crazy Boston family (redundant?) is at the center of this multi-camera sitcom based on the life of series creator Brian Gallivan. But what happens when the patriarch asks the resident black sheep — a gay, sports-averse son — o be his assistant basketball coach? Madness! Will there be a “you throw like a girl” joke? Probably! Tyler Ritter, Laurie Metcalf, Jack McGee, Jimmy Dunn, and Joey McIntyre (yes, that Joey McIntyre, of New Kids on the Block) star.

the mccarthys show

New England based sitcoms have been hit (Cheers) or miss (Boston Common, Costello, Lucky Louie, Goodnight Beantown) Okay, more misses than hits. Of course I’m rooting for NKOTB alum Joey McIntyre, and it does have a strong lead in with Two and a Half Men (in its final season) so it could be a hit, but if it stumbles out of the gate it will be gone quicker than you can say “Pahk Yah Cah in Havahd Yahd” – I had to.

GONE BY: Patriots Day (April 20th)

 

The Mysteries of Laura (Wednesday 10pm NBC)

Things at NBC are about to get Messing again! This lighthearted drama brings Will & Grace and Smash actress Debra Messing back to the small screen as Laura Diamond, an NYPD homicide detective who spends her days cleaning up the streets and the rest of her time cleaning up after her rambunctious twin sons and soon-to-be ex-husband (Josh Lucas) Laz Alonso also stars.

This takes the cake for worst preview of the fall season. Someone on staff should be fired for that Lady Gaga joke alone. It looks like Debra Messing is trying very hard to shed her spunky sitcom persona for a more gritty, blue collar character. Laura will most likely bring in some curious Will & Grace fans, but will ultimately lose its appeal just like her former costar Sean Hayes’ new show did last fall.

GONE BY: National Hot Pastrami Sandwich Day (January 14th)

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NEXT PAGE: See which show will be gone by National Crabmeat Day –>

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{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }

Kevin Hellions September 9, 2014 at 1:38 am

There is a preview episode of Selfie up on Hulu. Its awful. The only way it lasts is if Karen gets stripped down every episode. Already happened in the pilot.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 7:34 am

IT looks terrible. Better you sitting through it, than me Kevin! Thanks for reading and commenting! #teamhellions

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Jaina September 9, 2014 at 4:30 am

Network TV, failing all over the place. Hopelessly out of the loop when it comes to new Network TV, but by the looks of things, I’m not missing out on much.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 7:33 am

“Network TV, failing all over the place.” sounds like the beginning of a great poem! Thanks for reading and commenting Jaina!

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Dex September 9, 2014 at 7:50 am

“A loud-mouthed, sports-crazy Boston family (redundant?)”
Stereotypical, not redundant. I’m from the Boston area and couldn’t give two hoots about any of the sports.

I haven’t heard of most of these, and that’s probably a good thing. I know the Mrs will want to watch the Messing show. I will watch Karen Gillan do anything, I just don’t think Cho is the right person to pair her with (not that the show looks great or anything).

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 7:53 am

Let us know how bad The Chronicles, er, The Trials, um, The Mysteries of Laura is. I wont be watching. Thanks for your USF loyalty Dex, and thanks for the comments!

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Matthew Robert Joubert September 9, 2014 at 10:43 am

These shows all look terrible, I think the networks want to fail now as it’s just bad TV. oh well, I will stick to my Netflix.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 10:58 am

Thanks for the comments Matthew! I agree. That Netflix business model looks pretty good these days- fewer shows, higher quality, binge ready!

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HowardTheDeck September 9, 2014 at 11:08 am

There is not one of these shows that I plan to check out. I guess that frees up more time to actually spend with my family. Huh. Novel idea.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 11:55 am

Tune in later this week for the New Shows That Will Make it to Season Two. Some real gems in there!

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ScarletRegina September 10, 2014 at 11:53 am

The only one that I’ll be watching is Constantine. I did watch the Selfie pilot on Hulu and I’m pretty sure it made my brain bleed, so I won’t be sticking around for future episodes.

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Jay Malone September 9, 2014 at 2:17 pm

I’ve got $20 on Selfie and Constantine completing their seasons, and at least 1 of them getting a season 2 pickup.

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Jay Malone September 9, 2014 at 2:19 pm

For clarity, I don’t plan on watching Selfie. But it’ll stick for at least 1 year. Never underestimate the power of teenage and early 20’s women in numbers watching TV.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 2:59 pm

Jay, is Vegas taking bets? Cause I will hop on a plane tonight and bet against John Cho! (Do they takes bets as low as $4?)

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Jay Malone September 9, 2014 at 3:01 pm

I’m in for a $4 bet on Selfie making it the whole season. Gentlemans agreement?

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 3:32 pm

And the loser has to post a selfie of them Paypal’ing the $4!!!

Sara Edmonds October 21, 2014 at 5:36 am

Selfie isn’t as vapid as I thought it would be by the title.

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Jay Malone November 5, 2014 at 10:30 am

Agreed! It’s certainly not stellar, but it’s a hell of a lot better than I’d expected.

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ScarletRegina September 9, 2014 at 2:20 pm

I think Constantine will survive. NBC had success with Grimm on Friday nights and they’ve kept Hannibal around.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 2:58 pm

Lets split the difference- Constantine gets cancelled by NBC, then picked up by comic book champion CW and lives for 8 more seasons!

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ScarletRegina September 9, 2014 at 4:40 pm

But then it will be Constantine with love triangles of DOOM! The CW can’t get away from those.

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Jason G September 9, 2014 at 4:15 pm

As Howie mentioned, I’m all-out (opposite of all-in, nevermind) when it comes to these network shows.

Something about new shows released with a full season on streaming or cable that is more intruiging than investing in a network show that could get canceled anytime. I think if the networks took bolder moves on a few shows up front more like streaming, they could win some viewers back. Until then, I’ll wait until a show makes it before I watch.

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bmorin54 September 9, 2014 at 4:39 pm

Agreed. I think I’ll just stick with my regular shows and maybe read a little bit more. Not one show on this list sounds even the least bit interesting. I think you made some solid picks Corey.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 6:18 pm

thanks Brian- its always a crap shoot. This annual post is fun to do, especially interacting with those passionate about a show that hasnt aired yet!

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 6:17 pm

I am going to take credit for your vision Jason. I have championed binge watching/streaming television for quite sometime. Glad you are on board.

PS. We are the reason network television is struggling.

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Jason G September 12, 2014 at 10:34 am

It was definitely influenced by you Corey and my lack of faith in any continuous storyline show since Lost. I tell you, waiting for the entire Breaking Bad series to appear on Netflix before I watched took alot of patience and some serious spoiler avoidance in my daily RSS feed.

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Mr. Serious September 12, 2014 at 10:45 am

you deserve a medal for waiting on the ENTIRE Breaking Bad series to get to Netflix!!!

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@eclectik September 9, 2014 at 5:05 pm

How DARE you besmirch ANY Bebe Neuwirth vehicle!?
If Stalker subject matter is too much for viewers, those viewers are Douche Burglars
YOLO line was great
I like the twist of the great national holidays
… Ive already posted what Im watching

…and The Goldbergs blow.

Good Post.

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Sara Edmonds October 21, 2014 at 5:37 am

Yolo= carpe diem for morons.

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Clarence September 9, 2014 at 5:31 pm

I think Constantine, How to Get Away…, & Madam Secretary will last a full season. They’re on safe time slots/networks.

Manhattan Love Story seems pointless from the preview I saw months ago.

The other NBC dramas: I’ve no clue since I’ve lost faith in NBC to make a popular show on the rise & Parks and Rec will be the only show I’ll watch there this season.

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Mr. Serious September 9, 2014 at 6:13 pm

A lot of folks are still down on NBC. I know I miss the glory days of Cosby, Seinfeld, and Friends. Thank for reading and commenting, Clarence!

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@eclectik September 10, 2014 at 5:34 am

Waiting on the new FOX sitcom “Leaked Nudes” to debut

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Mr. Serious September 10, 2014 at 8:19 am

the actual title is “Jill Scott Presents: “Leaked Nudes Or How I Learned to Love The Cloud”

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Matt September 23, 2014 at 2:31 pm

The decision to “convert a well received feature film into a television series 9 YEARS LATER” might have been based on the fact that the Keanu Reeves film was awful and a TV series is probably a much better format for the Hellblazer comic book.
It presumably isn’t a “conversion of the film” but more likely just another adaptation of a comic which has been around since the 80s.

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whocares October 7, 2014 at 4:38 am

Shonda Rhimes already had a failure with “Off The Map” a couple of years ago.

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Ayelen October 10, 2014 at 10:13 pm

So Fox is gonna make an American version of Polseras Vermelles and call it “Red Band Society”? I hope they at least follow the plot from the original series and keep some ideas… But knowing Fox, a lot of good material from PV will be discarded.

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Thomas Wiley October 19, 2014 at 11:32 pm

Funny how this article is based on never seeing the shows

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Kneo October 24, 2014 at 11:22 pm

“13 New Fall Shows That Will Be Cancelled by Christmas”…

Forever = “GONE BY: National Roast Leg of Lamb Day (May 7th)”…

Did we move May 7th somewhere between November and December???

Just sayin’

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luke whitmer October 27, 2014 at 11:07 pm

how to get away with murder and selfie are actually pretty damn good shows and this is coming from a guy who blogs about tv shows.

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Jerboaki November 14, 2014 at 3:38 pm

I have to agree with most people on Constantine. Who ever cast Matt Ryan deserves an award, and a raise. He is spot on. This is the Constantine I was hoping to see, and didn’t get, with Keanu Reeves. This version of Constantine is much closer to the Hellblazer I loved.

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HowardTheDeck September 9, 2014 at 3:39 pm

Love it. I will broker this deal, and only take a .04 cut for my handling fee.

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Jay Malone September 9, 2014 at 3:47 pm

Done and done!

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