Details and Discussion of Chris Pratt’s Failed G.I. Joe Audition

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by Howie Decker @HowardTheDeck

in G.I. Joe, Movies, The Walking Dead

A bit of old news, but we’ve always admitted that we’re better at reacting to these things than breaking them. We’re about 5 months late on this one, but there’s something I thought we could take a look at and discuss as a G.I. Joe and Chris Pratt-loving community. Because if there’s two things we MAYBE love as much as (deep breath) Three’s Company, Soundwave, Deadpool, ¡Three Amigos!, Golden Girls, Beast Man, The Walking Dead, Christopher Cross, M.U.S.C.L.E., Silverhawks, TMNT, Garbage Pail Kids, WWE, comic books, Star Wars and Voltron- it’s Chris Pratt and G.I. Joe.

(Yes, Christopher Cross was in there).

So last summer Chris Pratt said he embarrassed himself “when he auditioned for G.I. Joe a couple of years previously”. Here’s more of his admission:

“Halfway through I saw the director’s eyes just glaze over. It made sense–I was a little heavy and out of shape. I was not gonna play someone from G.I. Joe. I did not look like a G.I. Joe action figure come to life.”

The timeframe implies that he was referencing 2009’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra as opposed to 2013’s G.I. Joe: Retaliation, especially since by 2012 he had gotten full-on shredded for Zero Dark Thirty. And let’s face it, if it was this version of Chris Pratt, he’s probably right:

chris pratt parks and rec

Either way – has it been officially determined which character he was auditioning for?

If you know the answer to that, enlighten us in the comments. I’d also love to speculate on which G.I. Joe film character he’d be best to play. Duke is the obvious choice, but I’d love to hear your thoughts. ALSO- let’s venture out of the realm of Hollywood reality now and discuss which G.I. Joe character Chris Pratt was born to play, regardless of which ones have appeared in the films. I’m leaning Lt. Falcon. What about you?

While we’re at it, I’m totally up for deciding which G.I. Joe characters the other Guardians of the Galaxy stars were born to play:

  • Batista as Nemesis Enforcer or Big Boa?
  • Zoe Saldana as Zarana?
  • Karen Gillan as Scarlett(!)?
  • Bradley Cooper as Chuckles?
  • Lee Pace as Shipwreck?
  • Michael Rooker (insert Merle Dixon-ish accent) as Wild Bill?

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