Celebrating 12/12/12 – with 12 Lists of 12!

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by UnderScoopFire Staff & Contributors on December 12, 2012

in Lists

Two things you must know about these 12 lists:

 

1. Each list will contain 12 items, in no particular order.

2. There will be limited links & images, because we got a late start on this (the 50 Greatest G.I. Joes was a huge undertaking, people!). Corey, Joe, Howie & Tank  literally cranked these lists out in minutes, Lightning Round-style. There’s sure to be some omissions. Please leave comments.

 

Go!

 

12 Stores We Wish Were Still Open

  1. Gold Circle
  2. Bargain Harolds
  3. Woolworth
  4. Service Merchandise
  5. Lechmere
  6. Ames
  7. Chess King
  8. Hills
  9. Record Town
  10. Media Play
  11. Kiddie City
  12. Fays Drugs

 

The 12 Best Items MacGyver Used to Solve Problems

  1. paper clip
  2. string
  3. matches
  4. smashed binoculars
  5. a stick
  6. chocolate
  7. a fire hose
  8. cold medicine
  9. water
  10. stick of gum
  11. a cord
  12. a rock
*All of these items were used in just the pilot episode. Seriously.

 

The 12 Most Disappointing Movies

  1. Superman Returns
  2. Spider-Man 3
  3. Green Lantern
  4. Batman & Robin
  5. The Godfather Part III
  6. Godzilla (1998)
  7. The Terminal
  8. Catwoman
  9. Speed 2
  10. Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
  11. Ghostbusters 2
  12. The Tourist

 

The Next 12 People Most Likely to Date Taylor Swift

  1. Fred Savage and/or Jason Hervey
  2. Tim Tebow’s party-time younger brother, Jim Tebow
  3. Little Miss Muffet
  4. Lloyd Dobler
  5. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan
  6. Rowlf
  7. Stan Van Gundy
  8. Meister Shake
  9. a pterodactyl
  10. Harry Osborne
  11. Karl Rove
  12. V.I.C.I. from Small Wonder

 

The Top 12 Things Clark Griswold calls Mr. Shirley

  1. cheap
  2. lying
  3. no good
  4. rotten
  5. four-flushing
  6. low life
  7. snake-licking
  8. dirt-eating
  9. inbred
  10. overstuffed
  11. ignorant
  12. blood-sucking
  13. dog-kissing
  14. brainless
  15. dickless
  16. hopeless
  17. heartless
  18. fat ass
  19. bug eyed
  20. stiff legged
  21. spotty-lipped
  22. worm-headed
  23. sack of monkey shit
*Sorry – there was no way we could keep that to 12

 

The 12 Best Things to Eat While Watching a Movie

  1. popcorn
  2. Taco Bell (thanks, Mr. Serious)
  3. nachos
  4. Peanut M&Ms
  5. Junior Mints
  6. chips n’ dip
  7. Sno Caps
  8. Cherry Icee
  9. Sour Patch Kids
  10. Raisinets
  11. smuggled meal of food
  12. soft pretzel

 

The 12 Best #12s

  1. Tom Brady
  2. Joe Namath
  3. John Stockton
  4. Terry Bradshaw
  5. Dwight Howard
  6. Roger Staubach
  7. Jim Kelly
  8. Jarome Iginla
  9. Roberto Alomar
  10. Yvan Cournoyer
  11. Bob Griese
  12. Jose Mendez (first photographic evidence of the use of uniform #s in baseball)

 

The 12 Best Arnold Schwarzenegger Movies

  1. The Terminator
  2. Terminator 2: Judgement Day
  3. True Lies
  4. Conan the Barbarian
  5. Predator
  6. Total Recall
  7. Twins
  8. Running Man
  9. Commando
  10. Kindergarten Cop
  11. Red Heat
  12. Eraser

 

The 12 Best Masked Characters in Pop Culture

  1. Darth Vader
  2. Jason Voorhees
  3. Zorro
  4. V
  5. Dread Pirate Roberts
  6. Michael Myers
  7. Snake Eyes
  8. Mil Mascaras
  9. The Lone Ranger
  10. Phantom of the Opera
  11. Shredder
  12. Stanley Ipkiss

 

The 12 Best Sports Dynasties

  1. 1990s Chicago Bulls
  2. 1980s L.A. Lakers
  3. 1990s Mike Tyson
  4. 1960s-70s Boston Celtics
  5. 1970s Pittsburgh Steelers
  6. 2000s Tiger Woods
  7. 1980s Edmonton Oilers
  8. 1990s Pete Sampras
  9. 1920s/1940s New York Yankees
  10. John Wooden’s UCLA Bruins
  11. 2000s UCONN Women’s Basketball

 

The 12 Sexiest TV Stars of the 80s

  1. Bruce Willis
  2. Alyssa Milano
  3. Lynda Carter
  4. Tom Selleck
  5. Robin Givens
  6. Suzanne Sommers
  7. Lisa Bonet
  8. Smurfette
  9. Tony Danza
  10. Heather Locklear
  11. David Hasselhoff
  12. Donna Dixon

 

The Top 12 Months of the Year

  1. January
  2. February
  3. March
  4. April
  5. May
  6. June
  7. July
  8. August
  9. September
  10. October
  11. November
  12. December
*OK, so we ran out of steam at the end. 11 lists of 12 is still impressive, come on!

 

 

Top image via concept-w.com

 

  • Lamar the Revenger

    top 12 next in line to date Taylor Swift… if #8 happens.. we need her to do an Underscoopfire theme song.

    • Lamar the Revenger

      and the Clark Griswald Top 12… you HAVE to repeat it out loud..

      • http://underscoopfire.com Howie Decker

        Absolutely. Best rant/tirade ever.

    • Brian Morin

      I laughed at that one so loud everyone looked at me like was crazy. I think MeisterShake could pull that one off.

      • http://underscoopfire.com Howie Decker

        He absolutely could! I doubt he’d want to, but he could.

  • http://tvandfilmtoys.com Engineernerd

    Where are the 90′s Red Wings in the dynasties?!?!?!

    I call icing.

    • http://underscoopfire.com Howie Decker

      They were good, but as usual hockey takes a back seat to the other sports. #shotsfired

  • Brian Morin

    You lift off the 13th month, Dingleberryber

    • http://underscoopfire.com Howie Decker

      How ignorant of me!

  • https://twitter.com/Count_Marzo Count Marzo

    You got me at the first list of 12!

    I was hoping you guys would do an article on our favorite stores of the past. That’s one of my favorite topics. The memories of those places and the great stuff you bought at them.

    Here’s hoping for a full article with pics and memories! *hint hint nudge nudge* ;)

    • http://underscoopfire.com Howie Decker

      Great idea for an article. I don’t remember many specifics, but I might be able to piece something together. Wish I had pics!

      • https://twitter.com/Count_Marzo Count Marzo

        There are pics out there of these awesome stores of the past. I have several saved on my pc as well as posted on my pinterest page. I’ll gladly help contribute!

  • FakeEyes22

    Very nice! What a fun, brief post of fun lists and fun.

    As a proper nerd, it is time to argue these lists! With RAGE.

    Okay, all I came up with was Catwoman, because how could that movie have been disappointing? I have to imagine the handful of people out there who had high hopes riding on that theatrical experience were more than satisfied since they don’t exist, so I choose to give them a happy ending. Nobody thought expecting anything good from this movie, did they? Maybe during the planning and announcement stages? The movie simply can not be considered a disappointment.

    Oh, wait. I knew it was no good and I watched it on HBO and it still managed to be not only bad, but it failed to even entertain in a bad movie sort of way. Gosh, even her dumb looking helmet thing managed to destroy whatever sex appeal they were aiming for with her silly outfit.

    Except for maybe my brother, I mean. His old Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issues were packed full of helmets he had cut out of Starlog and Fangoria and pasted in the lady photos to enhance the experience. Rocketeer, Robocop, Imperial Snowtrooper, you name it. My personal favorite was a 3 page foldout featuring the terrifying mask of Master Blaster, complete with the piggy-back component my brother was so fond of. My brother probably still hated Catwoman, I imagine.

    Anyway, well played. Catwoman did indeed perform the impossible and disappoint by failing to hit the lowest bar I could set for it. The lists do not lie.

    • http://underscoopfire.com Howie Decker

      This, my friend, is a candidate for Comment of the Year.

      Bravo sir.

  • James

    Hilarious. The Griswold, Swift, and MacGyver lists all made me laugh at my desk, causing me moderate embarrassment.

    • http://underscoopfire.com Howie Decker

      Always happy to cause public shame.

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