Watch a Young Jason Bateman Burn Lasers into Costar’s Rack

Long before Jason Bateman was Michael Bluth- hell, even before he was David Hogan, he played Ricky Stratton’s friend Derek on Silver Spoons.

Derek was known for two things: inexplicably silencing the uncontrollable jealous rage that would inevitably befall any friend of Ricky Stratton, and having a mega-boner for Kate Summers.

One of two things is happening in the scene below: young Bateman is either taking some ultra-specific (and ultra-creepy) direction as to where to direct his gaze, or young Bateman is taking liberties with the fact that “his character” has a crush on Kate Summers and her pointy 80s rack.

Skip to the 1:57 mark, unless you want to see the rad Big Trak at the beginning of the clip:

Seriously, say “style and low cut sophistication” out loud and imagine staring at a woman’s breasts for that long. WHILE YOU’RE TALKING TO HER. It’s AN ETERNITY.

As Michael Bluth would say: “What’s the most important thing in the world?” Family. Breasts.

 

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