12 of Zack Morris’ Ex-Girlfriends That Would Make a Better Wonder Woman than Gal Gadot

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by Howie Decker @HowardTheDeck

in Funny, Lists, Movies

Let me clear this up right away: I’m kidding. I have faith in Zack Snyder and his casting directors, and I’m sure Gal will make a positively darling Wonder Woman. But I had to make a point.

Nerd movie casting news has become the tree in the internet schoolyard where everyone meets to fight at 4:15. No bit of superhero or sci-fi casting news comes without its share of social media outcry and geek-bitching nowadays, and EVERYONE is a casting director. I’ll admit, I like to fantasy cast as much as the next guy, but check my track record- when news breaks of actual castings, I rarely moan. I’m of the ‘wait and see the actual performance before casting judgement’ camp, something foreign to many fans.

As Black Friday and Twitter fights have proven, the only valid response to ridiculous is more ridiculous, so here goes- 12 of Zack Morris’ conquests (yes, they were conquests, he was the Dan Fielding of the California academic system) that would make a better Wonder Woman than Gal Gadot:

*The realization I came to when combing through the archives of Zack Morris’ companions was that Zack considered NO woman off limits. Among his flings he counts Screech’s cousin, Slater’s ex from Germany, Slater’s sister (come on AC, lock that down), his boss’ daughter, and almost every female in the main cast of every SBTB era.

Andrea Larson (Rena Sofer)

rena sofer_opt

Ginger Baldwin (Bridgette Wilson)

bridgette wilson_opt

Karen (Good Morning Miss Bliss) (Carla Gugino)

carla-gugino wonder woman_opt

Jessie Spano (Elizabeth Berkley)

Elizabeth-Berkley wonder woman_opt

Kelly Kapowski (Tiffani Thiessen)

White Collar

Stacey Carosi (Leah Remini)

leah-remini_opt

Kristy Barnes (the girl from the wrestling team) (Krystee Clark)

kristy barnes_opt

Danielle (Julie St. Claire)

julie st claire_opt

Rhonda Robistelli (Kirsten Kemp Becker) (host of TLC’s Property Ladder)

kirsten kemp becker_opt

Penny Belding (Jodi Peterson)

jodi peterson_opt

Tori Scott (Leanna Creel) (new Wonder Woman superpower: Twin Magic!)

leanna creel_opt

Melissa from Teen Line (Jennifer Blanc, who once wore this in public) (NSFW-ish)

teen-line-melissa-and-zack-saved-by-the-bell-350x208_opt

Lisa Turtle (Lark Voorhies) (diversity, DC!)

lark-voorhies_opt

source: Saved By The Bell wikia (provided by our resident SBTB buff William B West)

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

The Sewer Den December 5, 2013 at 10:46 am

I love everything about this. Well-written intro too! I’m in favor of more SbtB comparisons.

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HowardTheDeck December 8, 2013 at 12:52 pm

nice, thanks! I’d do more SbtB stuff but, like TMNT, it’s something I loved but kinda came toward the end of childhood for me so my memories of it are hazy for some reason (you’d think I’d remember it BETTER than things from the early 80s, since it was more recent. Must have been all the dates and friends I had in high schoo– nope, that definitely wasn’t it.

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david December 5, 2013 at 10:40 pm

Great article. Zack Morris is the man.

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HowardTheDeck December 8, 2013 at 12:47 pm

hah. Thanks David!

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@eclectik December 10, 2013 at 8:03 am

I’d add that Zach Morris would also make a better Wonder Woman than her.

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HowardTheDeck December 10, 2013 at 9:51 am

I’m not as against the casting as many people are, but just IMAGINE a Wonder Woman who could call “time out” whenever the stakes were high.

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wat December 11, 2013 at 5:06 am

I’d like to know: what DO you think of Gal Gadot’s casting and how do you predict she’ll do? Remember she’ll be under the guidance of both Zack Snyder and Ben Affleck.

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HowardTheDeck December 12, 2013 at 10:29 am

Honestly, I want to say that I like the casting but I just don’t know enough. I haven’t seen the Fast movie(s) she was in. (Not sure if she’s been in just the most recent one or more than one). I liked Man of Steel, and I like the Affleck casting, so I’m trusting Snyder here, but I’m fully prepared to be burned.

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wat December 12, 2013 at 12:12 pm

She was pretty terrible in the FF movies she’s been in but then again the writing/directing are typically bad in those. So yeah, she could either be good or really bad. I trust she slayed her audition and that’s why she was casted. One thing she has for sure is an exotic look that an Amazonian like WW should have.

nunya December 14, 2013 at 11:54 am

At least half them chicks are old and fat now. Let the Gal (har har) get to the gym and then lets take another look at her. Hopefully she will brush up on some acting, since FF aint exatcly shakesphere, but neither is a super hero movie.

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